Blue Baby Blanket's Stash of Plunnies
by Blue Baby Blanket
Summary: A collection of ideas that I don't plan on making into full stories.  All are adoptable, and ready to go to a new home.  Not all are completely housebroken, and some require training, spaying or neutering. Other accessories and batteries are not included.
1. His Most Devastating Techinique

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the Property of Masashi Kisimoto

Author's Note: I've decided to gather all the plot bunnies that keep appearing in my head and release their horrors upon the world.

So here's a collection of story ideas from me.

All of these are adoptable, just let me know and I'll share any info on them I have. I reserve the right to continue any of them, but I probably will not.

To kick things off, here's a humorous short story.

His most Devastating Technique

It was the preliminaries of the chunin exams. The first match had just ended, pairing up Uchiha Sasuke against Yoroi Akado. Unlike what some might think, the pairings are indeed random.

If they were not random, they could be used to make sure only the strongest move on, or that the host village's ninja all receive the best odds. This time though, the host was the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and everything was completely fair.

So it came to be that by totally random chance that the next match was decided.

Uzumaki Naruto VS Hyuga Hinata

The two of them made their way down to the arena. Naruto was excited to be able to fight so soon, but was uneasy about fighting Hinata.

'She looks really red. I wonder if she's sick? She shouldn't be here then.'

Indeed, the Hyuga heiress was quite red, but not from illness.

'I have to fight Naruto? I don't want to hurt him, but my gentle fist would close his chakra points, so I'd have to…touch him…'

At that point Hinata's thoughts trailed off as her cheeks developed a red tint.

'What if tries to counter my attacks by grappling and accidentally grabs me?'

Hinata's face grew redder as she imagined herself in a grappling match with Naruto and what could happen as a result. She even giggled a little. Yes, she would not mind that at all.

'What if I close down too many of his chakra points? He'd be completely defenceless and…at my mercy.'

Hinata was now imagining what she could do with a unresponsive Naruto, completely red and lost to the world.

Naruto however had been paying close attention to Hinata's slowly changing appearance. Where at first she had looked nervous and was shaking, she was now giggling, blushing a bright red and otherwise still, standing in the basic stance of the gentle fist, not that Naruto would recognize it.

'Where have I seen girls look like this before? It seems familiar.'

Naruto was not completely oblivious to the fairer sex like most would think. Although the exact means as to which he developed his infamous sexy technique are known only to him.

'I know! I've got her now!'

"Alright Hinata, you better be ready cause I know your weakness now!"

Hinata was too lost in her daydream to acknowledge Naruto's declaration, but it did alarm her team-mates and sensei, who decided to pay closer attention to the match.

The proctor, Gekko Hayate took that moment to start the match.

"Whenever you two are ready, begin!"

He then jumped away to give the competitors room to fight. Hinata, brought out of her fantasy locked eyes on Naruto and activated her byakugan. Naruto took that time to strike and called out the name of technique that would defeat Hinata with ease.

"Yaoi Fanservice Technique!"

In an instant a cloud of smoke appeared, covering the arena, and dissipated just as quickly. It revealed several copies of not only Naruto, but apparently Sasuke, Neji, and surprising, Haku as well.

These were all shadow clones of course. Naruto had some transformed into Sasuke since girls all liked him, Haku he felt was even prettier then Sakura, and Neji seemed to resemble him. Naruto had no idea of his relation to Hinata.

That was not the strangest thing, by far. What was is that all of the shadow clones appeared six years older then their real counterparts, making them look like men rather then boys. Even worse, was like when Naruto uses the sexy technique, all of the clones were naked, save a wisp of smoke to protect their modesty.

The reactions from those present was mixed. Most of the women had turned completely red, although the older kunoichi were better off due to their superior control.

Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino were out cold, and would not awaken for some time.

The males in the audience turned away in disgust, or shame in Neji's case. He really did need to get a tan.

Oddly, the jonin for the team from sound seemed to look quite pleased by the development.

Hinata herself was actually in good shape. If anything, she seemed excited by her current situation.

Unfortunately she would not last long, as Naruto was now ready to go on the offensive.

"Alright men, you know what to do!" Shouted Naruto.

With the order given the shadow clones went into action, unleashing their devastating technique…on each other.

Needless to say what that encompassed is too horrifying to ever be repeated. Poor Hinata, her byakugan active saw every bit of it. She stood no chance, and collapsed in a sweaty heap despite having hardly moved.

Up in the audience, the men had disappeared to the bathrooms in disgust, and one in pleasure, the remaining women now unconscious as well. Only the Hokage remained, his years of experience steeling his will, or maybe it was just from being around Orochimaru so much.

With his opponent unconscious, Hayate declared Naruto the winner. Excited from his win, Naruto dispelled his shadow clones, and immediately regretted it.

What Naruto did not know was that when a shadow clone is dispelled, it's memories are transferred to it's creator. Thus Naruto gained the memories of his clones performing their devastating attack.

Naruto turned completely white, then fainted. From that day on he knew that the power of yaoi was something to be used carefully, and never for evil.

* * *

Author's Note: I was originally planning on using this idea in a future fic, but it might be some time before I write it, so I hope somebody got a good laugh out of it.

Also, we need more perverted Hinata fics. Maybe one where she's Jiraiya's apprentice and Naruto is Tsunade's.


	2. Akimichi Sakura

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the Property of Masashi Kishimoto

Akimichi Sakura

It was the first day of a new semester in the Hidden Leaf's ninja academy.

The new students in Umino Iruka's class were chatting amongst each other, getting to know their new peers.

Well, some were. One boy with his hair pulled back into a spiky ponytail was sleeping. A blond haired girl was fawning over a boy with black hair and eyes, along with several other girls. A rather chubby boy was munching on potato chips. Another with a large coat and sunglasses was calmly observing his classmates from the back of the room. A girl with dark hair in a princess cut was staring at a blond boy with whisker like marks on his cheeks arm wrestle with a feral looking brown haired boy with red facial tattoos. Lastly, there was a girl, the only other one not fighting for the attention of the dark haired boy.

That alone made her different from the other girls. There was more that set her apart though. She had long pink hair, but it was currently held behind a bandana. While most would think that being such a unique trait she would be proud of it as it could be considered quite cute. Alas it's very unlikely anyone would ever think that of her. This girl's name is Sakura, and she is an Akimichi.

Most would think being a member of one of the Hidden Leaf villages clans would be of great benefit. You'd have exclusive ninja techniques, wealth and resources highly beneficial for a ninja career and connections to other clans for political support. While this is true, for some it comes with a downside.

The Aburame for example are living hosts for a colony of insects. While beneficial for the clan members those outside of it are often uncomfortable around them. The branch house members of the Hyuuga clan are forced to wear a seal to protect their bloodline, but at the same time it makes them slaves to the main house of their clan.

For the Akimichi, they have powerful body techniques, or taijutsu. Their signature technique is the partial body expansion, where they can expand the size of any part of their body to great lengths. They can increase an arm to the size of a tree and defeat groups of enemies with ease.

While this sounds impressive, it has drawbacks. To be able to use these techniques they must keep their bodies in peak condition, requiring much training. The second problem is that they burn a massive number of calories doing so. Thus they must consume large amounts of food and maintain a heavy-set body weight.

This leads to the misleading view that they are overweight, when in fact they are mostly muscle. For a boy this isn't a problem as if anyone calls them fat they can respond by showing their aggressors how they are in error. For a young girl though, this would make growing up very hard.

While most girls her age were playing with dolls or picking flowers she was doing taijutsu drills or exercising to maintain her physical condition. While the other girls read fairy tales where princes in shining armour saved the damsel in distress and were wishing a certain boy would do the same for them she was studying her family's cookbooks to learn about the family business. While older girls were dieting to watch their figure so boys would notice them she was eating constantly like every other member of her clan.

This would make her a strong shinobi someday but at the cost of never getting to be a normal girl. When your childhood ends at twelve you learn to appreciate what little of it you had. Sadly it looked like now that she was enrolled in the ninja academy she now had even fewer opportunities to try and enjoy the time she had left.

That wasn't the worst part of it though. As said before, many people have mistakenly called an Akimichi fat and learned to never do so again. While most adults are understanding of the Akimichi's need for their girth, most kids are not, and kids can be so cruel sometimes.

They say first impressions are important, as they form the basis of how people will perceive you from that point on. The first day of class each of the students has to stand in front of the class and introduce themselves. This was something she always dreaded doing.

Sakura had tried making friends outside of her clan their allies, the Yamanaka and Nara clans. It never worked well. The girls would just tease her about her weight and ignore her attempts to explain her need for it. Her parents would usually have a chat with the other girls parents and have them discipline their daughters later. The Akimichi have worked hard to be a respected clan in the Hidden Leaf village and do not tolerate such slander, but it still comes up from time to time, especially from civilian children.

The boys were just as bad. They weren't as skilled at inflicting emotional pain like the girls but they tried just as hard. If Sakura fought back against them she would get in trouble for hurting other children, and the boys would later resent her for it. None of them liked being beaten by a girl.

That explains why Sakura was at the back of the class, eating candy marshmallow strawberries. They were her favourite candy, and eating them helped relax her. She needed to stay calm and focused for what she will soon have to do will set how her classmates will see her for the next four years.

Hopefully things would be alright. Her instructors shouldn't allow any of the other students to get away with any insults about her weight, providing they're around to do anything about it. There are seven other children from respected clans in her class so she shouldn't have any problems with them. One of them was her cousin Choji, and another was her friend Yamanaka Ino. They only knew each other through their clans though and weren't very close.

When it would come to be her turn she would just do her best. She would become a great kunoichi, find a man who would love her for being herself, and prove that size doesn't matter.

* * *

Author's Note: I came up for the idea for this after imagining what Sakura would look like as an Akimichi. It was pretty funny.

Ideally I'd want this to be a Sakura centric story, and eventually pair her up with Sasuke. I'd even have Naruto get together with Hinata by making them friends in the academy, and later childhood sweethearts.

I'm not sure about the teams though. For now, keeping them the same as canon should work.

The reason I don't want to continue this myself is because of the childhood obesity issue, and that it's about a young girl too. I think it's beyond my skill as a writer, and I have no experience with the problem being a borderline anorexic male, but someone might be able to take the idea and make it grand.

Edit: As of 02/12/10, this idea has been adopted by Echo Uchiha.


	3. It All Started With A Joke

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the Property of Masashi Kishimoto

It All Started With A Joke

Jiraiya and Naruto stood at the gates of the Hidden Leaf Village, about to leave to find the Slug Tamer and legendary medic Senju Tsunade so she can become the next Hokage.

Jiraiya looked at his young apprentice and informed him of their task. "She's also known as the Legendary Sucker." He added, as he finds the nickname suitably appropriate for her.

"Wow!" Naruto exclaimed. "She must be really good at oral sex with a nickname like that!"

Jiraiya just stared at Naruto for a minute, utterly shocked as he believed the young man to be completely innocent in regards to such activities, with the exception of whatever he did to learn how to create his sexy technique, which could be considered an s-class forbidden technique.

The gate guards, perpetual chunins Izumo and Kotetsu, along with Naruto were then treated to an amusing sight as Jiraiya, the legendary toad sage and self proclaimed super pervert started rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically.

However hilarious Naruto's statement had been, Jiraiya was still an experienced ninja and therefore was able to calm himself down and regain control.

"Naruto," he said addressing his protégé, "If you have the guts to say that to her face and live to tell the tale I promise you I will do everything in my power to make you the most powerful ninja who ever lived. I did it once with the fourth Hokage and I can do it again for you."

"Do you mean that?" Naruto asked of his new master. For someone to proclaim such a thing was completely new to him.

Iruka had never been too interested in his education as he was his general well being.

It wasn't until the night he stole the forbidden scroll that Iruka started to acknowledge him. If he asked for help now he was sure his former academy instructor would advise him. However he didn't feel comfortable doing so as Iruka had other responsibilities and Naruto now had his own teacher to help him since he was now a genin.

That brought a bitter taste to his mouth. Kakashi, however powerful and cool he may be in the heat of battle was a lazy pervert else wise. He only taught his students when their lives were on the line, and even then he just did the bare minimum. If they were ANBU recruits or experienced chuunin or jounin he might have something to share, but for rookie genin doing d-rank chores and low risk c-ranks? When was the last time Kakashi did one of those?

Oddly, he learned almost as much from Ebisu as he did Kakashi. The water walking exercise was good for increasing his chakra control, and it would be useful in an aquatic environment.

'Why didn't I ever ask Kakashi how he and Zabuza could walk on the water when they fought?' though Naruto as he thought about his former instructors. While they didn't seem too enthusiastic about teaching him he had to admit to himself if he spent less time working on pranks and focusing on his schoolwork he might have done a bit better for himself.

At the very least he could have rid himself of the title of "dead-last" that haunted him during his academy days that Kiba enjoyed reminding him of during their battle in the preliminaries.

'At least they shouldn't be calling me that anymore.' he consoled to himself.

With his defeat of Hyuuga Neji, the previous rookie of the year and Gaara of the Desert, a powerful demon host, the people of the Hidden Leaf village will think twice before calling Naruto dead-last to his face.

'There's not much I can do about it now though.' He thought remorsefully.

'Kakashi puts as little effort as he can into training us, if I go to Iruka for advice he might just be disappointed with me since I could be doing better. I'm an orphan so I don't have any clan techniques to learn. All those pranks I did to get attention just made people like me even less then already did. I doubt I could get much from anyone else. I don't even want to think about going to the library.'

For Naruto, who people used to pretend didn't exist and paid the least amount of attention to him when they had to asking for help was a foreign concept. They wouldn't do it for him when he was younger so he eventually stopped asking and learned to do everything on his own.

Just the possibility that the opinions of his fellow citizens and even his own peers had changed in the short time he had been a genin and would be willing to contribute to his progress as a ninja had never occurred to him.

This was the reason he didn't trust Ebisu and kept referring to him as a closet pervert. Naruto didn't know Ebisu willingly accepted the opportunity to train him as a way of apology for the way he used to think of him and thanks for the positive influence he had on Konohamaru. Naruto just saw the man who could clearly only see the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon in him and nothing else.

Naruto, having done reflecting on his past instructors and his own failings as a student looked up at the perverted sage to see if what he just said was true.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked again.

"Yes, I do." Replied Jiraiya. "The most important thing for a ninja isn't the number of techniques you know, but having the guts to never give up. If you can stand up to a woman like Tsunade of the Sannin, insult her to her face and survive then you've proven you have the courage, or at least a brass pair whose size would put Shukaku to shame. With that, you'd have the determination to go far or die spectacularly trying. Either way, sticking with you is sure to be one hell of an adventure."

Jiraiya finished stating his reasoning to Naruto, believing it to be enough to convince the boy of his sincerity.

'It'll also make for great material for the filler scenes in my next book. A little action won't hurt, and it'll provide good plotlines. Too bad the kid is too young to help with my primary research. On the other hand, maybe it's time for a sequel to my first book.' Jiraiya thought, revealing an underlying motive for his newfound interest in training Naruto. Of course, given that nurturing his perversion is probably his motivation for everything he does so that shouldn't come as a surprise.

Naruto considered Jiraiya's words, attempting to see if he was lying in any way. He couldn't find any reason to believe he was. Jiraiya was a student of the Old Man, the person he trusted most in the village and the teacher of his hero, the fourth Hokage. He let him sign the coveted toad summoner contract and spent a month helping him master it.

'Well, he did throw me off a cliff, and he is a super pervert. I'll just have to think of a way to get back at him for that later.' thought Naruto. He had made his decision. Jiraiya was the best possible teacher he could get. His dream of becoming Hokage just might happen, not that he ever thought for a moment it wouldn't.

"Alright!" Shouted Naruto, ecstatic over finally finding a dedicated teacher. " I promise I'll be a good student. I won't make the same mistakes I used to. I'm going to be Hokage some day so I can't keep treating ninja life like a game."

Naruto reflected back to when the fight against Zabuza and how he said they were just playing at being ninja. Well playtime is over.

"That's good to hear." Replied Jiraiya, happy that from now on the loud mouthed brat may actually calm down and treat him with respect. "Now let's get going. We have an important mission to accomplish."

"Yes sir Master Jiraiya!" Naruto responded with a salute, which the old sage smiled at. He wasn't about to call the person he's depending on for his future a perverted sage now was he?

He didn't know it at the time, and neither did Jiraiya, but this was the defining moment in Naruto's life. It was the moment he finally started taking things seriously. He would still be the same Naruto everyone knew and would grow to love, but he gained a fierce determination. If his life was a book, his story to this point would be a prologue. The search for Tsunade would be chapter one of The Tale of Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

Author's Notes: This was actually the first thing I wrote, and it's a lot different from my current stories in terms of format and style.

If someone was going to continue this, I'd make it a perverted and strong Naruto story, with a close bond between him and Jiraiya.

Personally I'd like to see Naruto use everything he learned from Jiraiya to get the girl of his dreams, aka Sakura. Not many people like her anymore though. I can see the potential for a harem fic too, but I hate those. As for Naruto/Hinata, it's overdone. We don't need anymore.

I suppose it could be funny to see Naruto use his skills to seduce and date every woman he meets, and cause a competition to see who gets to be with him.


	4. What He Should Have Done

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the Property of Masashi Kishimoto

What He Should Have Done

Hatake Kakashi was not in a good mood. One of his students, Uchiha Sasuke, was hospitalized after his match in the preliminaries of the chunin exam. It wasn't due to the match itself, rather he passed out from the pain of having the curse seal he had been given further sealed. Unfortunately this was not the worst of his troubles by far.

He had gone to visit his student to check on his progress only to find the ANBU guarding him dead. It turned out a genin named Yakushi Kabuto was actually a spy of Orochimaru, the one who gave Sasuke the curse seal. Apparently he was here to kill Sasuke, for reasons unknown.

He would have to report this to the Hokage. Kabuto is now a traitor and will be have to be dealt with. For now he needed to know exactly what happened during the second test of the chunin exam and he needed to know now. He planned on getting the information from his other students. At that moment one of them, Uzumaki Naruto appeared, either to check on Sasuke or ask Kakashi for help with the third exam.

'Ah, speaking of the devil, or demon depending on who you ask.' Kakashi joked to himself to lighten the mood. He was not looking forward to what was going to happen next.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei! Where's Sasuke! The lady at the desk won't tell me what room he's in. Oh, yeah, I'm fighting Hyuuga Neji in the finals so I'll need lots of training so I can beat him!" Naruto yelled out to his teacher, and in one breath too.

"Naruto," said Kakashi in a reprimanding tone. "This is a hospital. There are people here who are sick, injured and even dying. Keep your voice down and stop disturbing them and the people trying to help them. Should you end up a patient here I doubt they'd treat you with any courtesy with the way you act."

Naruto paled a bit and muttered out a "sorry." Taking a few breaths, he spoke in a much softer tone. "So where's Sasuke then?"

"He's in a secure location. I'm waiting for someone to bring Sakura here so you two can see him. I also need some information from the both of you. We'll wait until she gets here and then we'll get started," replied Kakashi.

They didn't have to wait long as Sakura came in with a another ninja who wore the standard Konoha jumpsuit but no vest, sunglasses and a bandana style forehead protector.

'That's the closet pervert who's supposed to be Konohamaru's tutor, I think his name was Ebisu.' Naruto thought to himself. He almost called him a closet pervert out loud but Kakashi's earlier admonishing for yelling in a hospital kept him from doing so.

"Ah, good, you're both here. Let's get going, shall we?" Kakashi said to the group. Ebisu nodded in reply and followed Kakashi along with Sakura, who had been informed of the situation by Ebisu. Naruto held back to speak with his pink haired team-mate.

"What's going on?" He asked her. "I came in to see Sasuke, but they won't tell me what room he's in. I asked about training for the third exam, but I don't think Kakashi-sensei is in the mood for that."

Sakura took a moment to come up with a reply. "I don't know either." She began. "I was on my way to visit him too when this guy here showed up and said Kakashi-sensei needed to see me right away and to stay quiet." Sakura appeared concerned, most likely for her hospitalized team-mate.

They walked in silence after that. After some time they made it to Sasuke's new room he had been moved into after Kabuto's attack.

"Well, there he is." Kakashi said to his students. Naruto and Sakura went to Sasuke's side. He was still unconscious. "I'll give you two a moment with him, then we will have a discussion."

Kakashi then left the room with Ebisu. There were no windows in the room, and the only entrance was the door they now stood by. Neither made any small talk. After five minutes they re-entered the room.

"Alright, that was long enough. Now, I need you two to tell me everything that happened while you were in the forest of death." Kakashi asked his students in a way that meant he was serious, he needed to know everything that happened.

* * *

Kakashi had a killer migraine. This day just kept getting worse. To think that not only did Orochimaru attack one of his students and put a curse seal on them, he even put a seal on Naruto to disrupt the flow of the nine-tailed fox demon. At least Sakura didn't find out about the fox and Naruto's other seal.

They would have to get a specialist in to take it off later. For now it would actually be helpful as a training tool to help him improve his chakra control. It should work like Gai and Lee's leg weights do to improve their strength and speed.

Kakashi felt ashamed that he didn't even think of checking on his other students to make sure they were alright. To think, Naruto beat Inuzuka Kiba with a handicap like that.

What is strange is that Naruto said he was rather beat up after his match with Kiba. Hyuuga Hinata, Kiba's team-mate and Naruto's first and only fangirl gave him some medicinal balm to help him recover. He said when he applied it he healed instantly. Since the fox's chakra was cut off that would imply Naruto's healing factor works independently of the fox. It was his own power.

What was also troubling were the actions taken by Kabuto during the exam. It seemed his purpose was to ensure team seven made it to the next round of the exam. Theoretically he could also use his skills to eliminate certain teams as well.

That still didn't answer all the questions behind his or Orochimaru's motives. Kakashi wouldn't have to worry about that though. Their discussion had been secretly observed by Morino Ibiki, who would use the information to get the answers himself. For now, Kakashi needed to focus on training his students for the third exam.

* * *

Author's Note: This is my take that to all the fics where Kakashi dumps Naruto on Ebisu so he can train Sasuke by himself.

Ideally Kakashi would train them all exhaustively, and if Naruto and Sasuke fought then their match would just be a choreographed effort to make sure they both displayed the skills needed to be promoted to chunin, and would end in a tie.

As for how I came up with the idea, one day I decide to read the chapter of the manga where this happened to see just how it really went. To my surprise, the first half of the chapter had Kabuto try to kill Sasuke while he was in the hospital.

So that's why Kakashi had to train Sasuke by himself. He needed to guard him constantly from assassins. The reason Naruto couldn't be there is if both if them won their matches, they'd have to fight each other and would know the other's secrets.

Not to mention the reason that Ebisu took Naruto to the hot springs was to get Jiraiya's attention so he could train Naruto instead. Really, who would be a better teacher, someone with no experience teaching whatsoever, or the man who taught the fourth Hokage? Never mind, don't answer that.


	5. Naruto: Inheritor of Tessaiga

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

I Don't own Inuyasha either. Inuyasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi

Naruto: Inheritor of Tessaiga

Today was a special day for Naruto. Soon, he would be starting his shinobi training at the ninja academy. Not only that, Sarutobi had called him to his office to give him a special gift to celebrate the event.

'I can't wait to find out what the old man got me!' The eight-year old Naruto thought happily.

Naruto was in such a good mood he ran right into Sarutobi's office, completely ignoring the secretary outside the door. Luckily Sarutobi did not have any appointments scheduled. Naruto was the exception, of course.

"Hey Old Man!" Naruto called out, in what he considered to be his most respectful tone.

Sarutobi merely chuckled at Naruto's entrance.

'It's always nice to see him in a good mood. I know I could have done better for him, but I'm glad he's still a happy child despite his burden.'

"Hello Naruto," Sarutobi said, "Please, take a seat."

Naruto, seeing a chance for some mischief, took it. Grinning, he walked up to one of the chairs and picked it up, surprising Sarutobi.

"Well old man, when you said you had something for me, I didn't think it was just a chair. Thanks though, I'm sure I can find a good place for it in the apartment you got me."

Naruto then turned around and starting carrying the chair out. He had a bit of difficulty, as he was still only eight, and it was a big chair. Sarutobi let out a little laugh to show his amusement, then called Naruto back.

"No Naruto, I meant sit down in the chair. That is, unless you don't want your real present."

In an instant the chair was back in it's original spot, with Naruto sitting in it.

"Alright then," Sarutobi said, "now that I've got your attention, I'd like to give you that gift I promised."

With that Sarutobi pulled out a katana with a black sheath, and handed it to Naruto.

"This sword is yours now. It's name is Tessaiga." Sarutobi explained to Naruto.

The boy in question was too busy admiring his new toy, err, deadly weapon. After admiring it for a bit, he carefully drew Tessaiga out of it's sheath.

"Careful there," Sarutobi warned Naruto, "you don't want to accidentally cut yourself, or damage anything valuable."

Naruto settled for drawing Tessaiga out a little ways so he could inspect the blade. It seemed to be in good shape, from what he could tell. After getting a good look at it, he returned the sword to it's sheath and addressed Sarutobi.

"Thanks old man, it's great. Except it's kind of long for me, and I don't how to use a sword." Naruto admitted sheepishly.

Sarutobi smiled at that.

"Well, most people don't begin to learn how to wield weapons like this until they're older, and their bodies are more developed. For now, I'd suggest a good diet and eating plenty of vegetables so you can grow strong and tall. Then you'll be able to wield Tessaiga much sooner."

Naruto pouted at the thought of having to eat vegetables.

"I really don't like vegetables, but if it'll help me use my new sword I'll do it." Naruto agreed, reluctantly though.

Sarutobi did an inner dance of joy.

'Teuchi and I have been trying to get him to eat a more balanced diet for years. Why didn't I think of this sooner?' Sarutobi thought, and inquired to himself.

"Well, in that case I'll make sure to let Teuchi and Ayame know so they can add a vegetable ramen to their menu."

Naruto perked up slightly from that news.

'I bet even yucky vegetables won't make ramen taste bad. If Mr. Teuchi makes it, maybe it won't be too bad…'

"As for learning how to use it, I've prepared these."

Sarutobi then pulled out several textbooks.

"I've personally selected these books for you to study. They'll teach you everything you'll need to know in order to be an expert swordsman."

Naruto frowned at the idea of having to read so many books. Sarutobi noticed this, and was prepared for it.

"Well, if you don't like the idea of studying these, I guess you don't want to be a great swordsman after all."

Sarutobi then began stacking the books up, preparing to put them away, while showing a mild disappointment in Naruto.

"No no, I want to be a great swordsman!" Naruto declared.

He really did not like the idea of Sarutobi being disappointed in him,

"Oh really? You don't seem too interested in learning how to be one. To think, I even went through all that trouble to find the ideal textbooks for you to study."

That did it for Naruto. He reached out and grabbed the nearest book, then started reading it.

'Well, I'm glad that's settled." Sarutobi said, slightly pleased.

'Not only did I get him to agree to eat better, now he's reading too. I wonder if I can find a more amicable solution to the Uchiha problem too? Oh well, that's something I can deal with another time.'

Sarutobi cleared his throat, getting Naruto's attention.

"Now, I think it would be better if you studied at home. As for practicing with your sword, it would be better if you did that in private. Just find a secluded spot and signal for an ANBU like I showed you. They'll escort you to a training ground and supervise you to make sure you don't get hurt."

Naruto nodded at everything Sarutobi said.

"For now, I'll show you how to use a sealing scroll. You'll be able to keep your new books and sword in it. That will make it easier to carry around. That, and it would not be a good idea to let anyone see you with Tessaiga until you become a genin."

Naruto put his book down, and eagerly listened to Sarutobi's explanation of how to use a sealing scroll. After the impromptu lesson, Naruto sealed up the books and Tessaiga, and made his way home to continue his new studies.

* * *

Later that day, Sarutobi took a moment to relax and enjoy one of his more expensive blends of tobacco. He felt it as worth it, considering the monumental progress he made with Naruto's growth.

Sarutobi briefly watched Naruto studying in his apartment through the use of his crystal ball. Naruto was clearly struggling to comprehend the contents of his textbooks.

'I should have told him he can take his time reading them. I don't expect him to understand all the concepts for a few years. Oh well, at least I contacted Teuchi at lunch. I'm glad Ayame has first aid training. I didn't think Teuchi would be so surprised.'

Teuchi, upon finding out Naruto agreed to start eating a more balanced diet, fainted and almost gave himself a concussion.

'I hope he does master that sword someday. If he wields it as well as Kushina did, he'll be an incredible force.'

Thinking of Kushina reminded Sarutobi of the fateful day that changed her life.

'I remember hearing the story from Jiraiya. He was spying on Minato and Kushina on one of their dates when they were young chunin. Kushina was thirsty, and went to get some water from a well. Instead, she found a worn down katana in an exquisite sheath.'

What it was doing in the well was anybody's guess. The only thing with ti was a note, saying the katana's name was Tessaiga, and to keep it safe.

'After having it restored, Kushina spent all of her free time learning how to use it. Given her skills with sealing, and lack of them with ninja techniques, it was a good supplement.'

Kushina did get better with ninja techniques, or at least those that worked well with sword techniques.

'For some time everyone believed Tessaiga was a normal katana. Until that one day a group of Stone ninja made two very bad mistakes. They interrupted Kushina and Minato's date in an attempt to capture or kill them, and they made Kushina mad.'

There's a reason that Kushina was called the "Red Hot Blooded Habanero."

'They attacked Minato first, and tried to take Kushina as a hostage. Being outnumbered and caught in a surprise attack, Minato and Kushina were at a disadvantage. That is, until the Stone ninja tried to kill Minato.'

What happened next is a day that lives on in infamy.

'Kushina had been fighting to the best of her abilities, which were limited to sealing and her use of Tessaiga. When she thought Minato was about to die, she tapped into the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon's chakra. I only wish I could have seen the look on the Stone ninja's faces then.'

It was a well guarded secret that Kushina was the second host of the nine-tailed fox demon, until that day.

'Tessaiga, reacting to the fox's chakra, changed shape into a massive blade that resembled a dog's fang. Kushina, in a rage, slaughtered the Stone ninja, save for one. It was only because of Minato calming her down that the remaining Stone ninja survived.'

If you were to ask Minato what he though of that sight, he would say he was terrified, and slightly turned on.

'They let the Stone ninja go, having other priorities. They had to make sure Kushina's seal was intact, and what exactly happened to Tessaiga.'

The Stone ninja later revealed everything he knew to the Tsuchikage. Soon, Kushina's status as a power of human sacrifice was discovered.

'When the war with Stone and Sand started, Kushina and Minato were at the front lines. They found out Tessaiga grows stronger from demon chakra, and Kushina began to use both frequently. Eventually, due to her kill record in the war, her nickname changed to the "Red Death."'

Kushina was even declared an S-Class opponent, with a flee on sight order, just like Minato.

'Thanks to them, the war ended sooner then expected, and while Sand agreed to an alliance, Stone merely settled for a peace treaty and mild trade negotiations. Still, things could have gone a lot worse.'

Kushina's presence bolstered the Leaf's courage, and weakened their enemies resolve. Eventually, the Hidden Stone Village, suffering from a demoralization of their troops, called for an end to the fighting.

'It's a shame that Kushina and Minato are both gone now. Kushina's seal failed when Naruto was born, and the fox was released. Minato, the damn fool, sacrificed himself to reseal it into Naruto. If only I had been there, I would have done it myself.'

That day was one of tragedy. A memorial service was held in honour for Minato, Kushina, and the others who died every morning on the anniversary. At night, Naruto's birthday party was held.

The people of the Hidden Leaf Village would pray for the dearly departed, and that Naruto would hold back the power of the fox demon and someday use it against their enemies.

'It still warms my heart to see how readily the people of the village accepted Naruto. His mother's burden and relationship with Minato were well known, so everyone knew of her pregnancy. When she and Minato died, the people put their hopes onto Naruto carrying on both of their legacies.'

Since Sarutobi knew there was a chance the fox could be released when Kushina went into labour, he called a surprise evacuation test and prepared the village for the worst. That saved quite a few lives.

'I know some of the civilians still fear Naruto, but for the most part he's quite respected. It helps that he's such a friendly child. I don't know anyone who wouldn't like him after spending just a few moments with him.'

It helped that his mother had one of the most fearsome reputations, and that his heritage was not concealed. Had he been Uzumaki Naruto, and Kushina been an ordinary kunoichi instead of Namikaze Naruto, and the "Red Death", Naruto might not have been accepted as easily.

'I wonder what the future holds for Naruto? Oh well, I suppose it's time to get back to work. I still need to deal with the Uchiha clan. I think I have a plan. Hopefully, there won't be much bloodshed, if at all.'

* * *

Author's notes: Why aren't there more stories where Naruto gets Inuyasha's sword? I think there's only one.

Echo Uchiha claimed this plunnie as well. Good luck with it.

Anyway, you've probably noticed a lot of changes from canon. I'll make a list.

1: Kushina now has a more fearsome reputation, and her fanon nickname, the "Red Death." She's also skilled with a katana, obviously.

2: Naruto has his father's family name. He's not the village pariah, he's the respected, and slightly feared, honourable son of the fourth Hokage.

3: Relations between Stone and Leaf are much stronger. Hence there's less need to conceal Naruto's heritage. He's still quite protected though.

4: Naruto is still an idiot, but now he has motivation to be better, and support as well. He doesn't pull pranks for attention since he has it. He still wears orange, but not as much. What else would the son of the _Yellow_ Flash and _Red_ Death wear?

5: The Uchiha clan is still planning a deathblow against the Leaf Village. Sarutobi now has a plan for dealing with them that's different from canon.

I think that's the major points.


	6. Double Or Nothing

I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kisimoto.

Double or Nothing

It was a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and there was not a cloud in the sky. It was truly a great day to be alive.

Inside a hotel room in Tanzaku town, a woman who was normally not a morning person was wide awake, and savouring the joyous morning. Today was surely to be a good day for her. After all, today was the start of a new life for her, so to speak.

'_I can't believe it worked. I thought I'd die for sure, but here I am, alive and well_.'

The woman was none other then Tsunade the slug tamer, medic extraordinaire, and one of the Legendary Three Ninja.

'_Yesterday I was a fifty-year old woman, not that I would ever admit that. Today, I'm not sure what I am_.'

Thinking back, Tsunade remembered how she came to be here, ten years into her past.

'_I never thought it was possible, but to think something like time-travel could be done. My former team-mate was a sick twisted man, and I hope his soul rots in hell for all eternity_.'

Orochimaru, in one of his bids for immortality, devised a technique to imprint his soul on his younger self, giving him unlimited chances at life, and plenty of time to complete his ambition of learning every ninja technique.

Although the technique was incomplete, Tsunade found a record of it, and after a great deal of effort, completed it. Unfortunately, it would only work once. Having been the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade was deemed the one best suited for using the technique, as she would be in the best position to use all her power and knowledge to change the future.

'_I guess I should get started then. There's no time like the present_.'

Smirking at her inside joke, Tsunade set out on her self appointed mission of changing the world.

* * *

"Master Tsunade, I don't think this is a good idea!"

A familiar sight was held for the patrons of the casino. Tsunade was once again gambling away all her money, while her apprentice tried to stop her from doing so.

"This is all the money we have left!"

Tsunade was tempted to ignore her apprentice's warnings. Seeing Shizune alive again was uncomfortable for her, but she was happy to see her first apprentice, unlike how she would feel If she saw her second apprentice again.

'_I'll make sure that girl never learns how to properly throw a kunai this time around for what she did_.'

Pushing those thoughts aside for the time being, Tsunade addressed her truly loyal apprentice.

"It'll be fine. I have a good feeling today. I can't lose." Tsunade reassured Shizune.

Walking up to a roulette table, Tsunade pulled out her briefcase and took out all her money.

"I want to buy enough chips to play the max bet on deuce loaded. Put the rest on black."

Shizune paled and looked at Tsunade in horror.

"You're betting everything we have on a 38-1 shot?"

Tsunade smiled and returned Shizune's look.

"I know my luck Shizune, the odds are better then you think."

Remembering her master only wins when something bad is about to happen, Shizune mentally prepared herself.

'_Relax, what's the worst that could happen?_'

After placing her bets, the dealer spun the ball. Around the wheel it spun, eventually coming to a halt.

"Two black." The dealer declared in shock.

"Cash out!" Tsunade immediately responded.

'_The end is nigh! Armageddon is approaching! The Four Horsemen ride out! Doomsday is upon us! Ragnarok has come! It's the end of days!_' Shizune thought to herself.

Tsunade calmly took her chips and exchanged them for cash, a panic stricken Shizune following her all the while.

* * *

"Alright, do you understand the plan? Repeat it to me so I can be sure you do."

Tsunade and Shizune were currently outside the city's limits, on the road back to the Hidden Leaf Village. Tsunade was still calm, but Shizune, well, if it was not for the duo's extensive medical knowledge, she may have had a stress induced heart attack.

"Yes ma'am. We are returning to the Hidden Leaf Village, where I will request an A-rank mission. I require a team of jonin to act as my bodyguards while travelling Fire Country, paying off your gambling debts. I will also be provided with several scrolls containing with your shadow clones sealed inside, in case anyone you owe debts to requires you to pay them off personally."

They had won enough money to pay off Tsunade's debts in Fire Country, or enough to keep her creditors off her back. Securing her safety in her home country was enough for Tsunade, for now.

"Okay then, you understand perfectly." Tsunade said.

Calming down slightly, Shizune managed a weak smile.

"Alright, let's move out! I want to be in the Hidden Leaf Village by tomorrow morning! There's no time to waste!" Tsunade said again.

Shizune then sighed, picked up Tonton, and ran after her master.

* * *

It was the next morning, and Tsunade, Shizune, and Tonton had arrived in the Hidden Leaf Village. Approaching the gates, Tsunade noted the relaxed condition of the guards.

'_It's been quite some time since I've seen anyone that peaceful while on duty_.'

Walking up to the guards, Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Ahem."

The chunin guard looked up, and unfortunately for him, right into Tsunade's cleavage. He then quickly raised his eyes to meet Tsunade's but could not stifle his furious blush. She did not mind it at all.

'_If I didn't want anything like that to happen, I wouldn't dress like this_.'

Clearing his throat, the chunin guard greeted Tsunade.

"Welcome to the Hidden Leaf Village ma'am. What is your identity and purpose of your visit?" He asked with a stutter.

"I'm Senju Tsunade. I'm here with my apprentice, Shizune, and our pet pig, Tonton, to see the Hokage."

Recognizing Tsunade's name, the guard embarrassingly wrote down their names on the entry sheet.

"Have a nice day." He said, still quite shaken.

Tsunade then strolled into the village. Shizune, carrying Tonton followed behind.

* * *

As the trio walked to the Hokage Tower, Tsunade began reminiscing.

'_It's so strange seeing the village intact, and my face not on the mountain. It'll be back up there soon enough though_._'_

In the future, the village was destroyed by the Akatsuki, a crater left in it's place.

'_That's just another thing I'll have to make sure does not come to pass.'_

While thinking of her future, they continued on their way. Several adults stopped and greeted Tsunade respectfully, but she politely turned them away, saying she had important business with the Hokage.

She could have easily snuck into Sarutobi's office, but this way, everyone in the village would know she was back right away, and her old sensei would have time to prepare for her. After all, it would be bad if he had a heart attack from the shock of seeing her back in the village.

Soon they had made it to their destination, and stood outside the doors of the Hokage's office. Knowing she was expected, and that Sarutobi would have sent away any appointments, she walked right in.

* * *

Sitting at his desk, smoking his pipe, Sarutobi appeared calm. Inside though, his mind was racing. One of his students, who had sworn never to return, was back in the village. Even stranger, she seemed to be in a very good mood.

Sarutobi, while hoping for the best, was a shinobi, and prepared for the worst.

_'Either she's finally over her fear of blood and the loss of her younger brother and fiancé, and here to return to active duty and help the village, or she's a very skilled impostor here to kill me and take over the village.'_

Sarutobi was actually right on most counts, or all if things got desperate.

Sensing his student's approach, he put out his pipe. Tsunade never approved of the habit, but after living so long, Sarutobi felt he earned the right to indulge in a vice.

The doors to his office then opened, revealing Tsunade and her apprentice, who was carrying a pig. Letting out a deep breath, Sarutobi greeted them.

"Welcome home Tsunade. It's good to see you again."

"It's good to be back home." Tsunade responded with a smile.

Seeing the genuine look of contentedness on Tsunade's face, Sarutobi relaxed.

'_It's definitely her now, I'm sure of it. She seems so serene as well. I see the pains she felt are gone now. I don't know how, but I'm glad for it.'_

"So, what brings you back home after all this time? Have you decided to accept my offer of being my successor?" Sarutobi jokingly asked.

Knowing Tsunade was in a good mood, he felt it was safe to make a joke like that. Tsunade, still smiling, did something Sarutobi was not expecting her to do.

"Actually, I have."

Tsunade accepted his offer. Sarutobi began to hyperventilate, either from shock that she actually did, or joy that he can finally retire.

"Oh, by the way, I'd like to adopt Minato and Kushina's son." Tsunade added.

Sarutobi then passed out. Shizune immediately put down Tonton and ran to the old man to make sure he did not have a heart attack. Tsunade kept smiling, knowing things were going to get better.

* * *

Inside a classroom at the Hidden Leaf Village's shinobi academy, Uzumaki Naruto sat in class, alone. The school day was over, but he did not feel like returning to his empty home.

Today was the graduation exam at the academy. Although Naruto was only eleven, he felt like taking it, even though he would have been placed with students a year older then him, and not his own classmates.

Although he was depressed, his homeroom teacher, Umino Iruka comforted him, saying he now had an extra year to improve, and when he graduated, he would be with peers his own age, who he had spent years with.

Naruto was not so optimistic. Although he had been friends with Inuzuka Kiba, Akimichi Choji, and Nara Shikamaru at first, as the years went by, they grew apart. Nowadays, Naruto's only interaction was with his crush, Haruno Sakura, and his self proclaimed rival, Uchiha Sasuke. The less said about them, the better.

Earlier, Naruto had tried sulking and acting depressed so Iruka would buy him some ramen to cheer him up. The teacher had seen right though it, and told Naruto if had paid more attention in class and studied, instead of sleeping though class, or skipping it to play pranks, he might have passed.

Iruka did not even pay attention to Naruto's refusal, having heard it to many times to count. Deciding he was a lost cause, Iruka left Naruto and went to help someone who was willing to listen to him.

Sitting quietly, planning a prank to get back at Iruka, Naruto did not even notice when someone approached him.

"Uzumaki Naruto." The stranger announced.

Jumping up in surprise, Naruto realized it was a chunin and messenger of the Hokage who startled him.

"The Hokage wishes to see you in his office post haste."

"It wasn't me!" Naruto said, immediately defending himself.

The messenger let out a sigh.

"Just go see the Hokage right now."

Still upset as he thought he was being blamed for something that was not his fault, Naruto begrudgingly went to see Sarutobi.

* * *

Outside the Hokage tower, Shizune stood with a team of jonin.

"Alright then, do you understand your mission?" Tsunade asked them.

"Yes ma'am!" They responded as one.

"Good. Wait by the south gate. Shizune will meet you there shortly."

The jonin then left for the gate, leaving Shizune alone with Tsunade. Tonton sat by Tsunade's side.

"Before you go, there's one thing I want you to do."

Tsunade then bit into her thumb and swiped it across her hand, surprising Shizune.

'_I didn't know she was over her hemophobia.'_

Tsunade made the boar, dog, bird, monkey and ram hand seals, and called out a technique.

"Summoning technique!"

In a poof, a slug appeared, holding a large scroll. Shizune gasped, and stared at it in shock.

"It's time you signed the slug summoning contract. You've more then earned it."

Shizune, grateful for such an honour, happily signed the contract. They then said their goodbyes, and Tsunade reminded Shizune she can now use the slugs to keep in touch. Having finished doing something she regretted never having done in her previous future, Tsunade returned to Sarutobi's office to correct another wrong.

* * *

Storming into the Hokage tower, Naruto had still not calmed down.

'_I didn't even do anything this time! Why am I always the one who takes the blame?'_

The idea that he could be called for something good never even occurred to Naruto. Such was his life to this point.

Ungracefully throwing open the doors, Naruto addressed Sarutobi Hiruzen, the God of Shinobi, Third Hokage and strongest ninja in the Hidden Leaf Village with as much respect as he usually did.

"Hey old man! What's the big idea? I swear, it wasn't my fault!"

Inwardly saddened that Naruto assumed he had been called before him to receive some form of punishment, Sarutobi once again questioned whether he had done the right things with Naruto.

'_No, the answer to that is I definitely have not. At least from now on, things will be better for him.'_

"Relax Naruto, you are not in any trouble, unless there is a reason for you to be in one. Is there?"

Naruto, reassured he was safe, for the moment, cheered up, and let out a sigh of relief.

"Nope, none at all. So, what did you call me for?"

Sarutobi gestured to Tsunade, who was sitting in a chair in front of his desk, observing Naruto, who had not even noticed her.

"This is Senju Tsunade, one of my former students."

Naruto, looked in her direction.

"She's here to adopt you."

* * *

Author's Notes:This idea just came to me today, and I typed everything up just now. I already have too many stories on my plate, but I came up with several ideas for this one.

Who knows though, I might decide to continue it someday.

To avoid potential spoilers, I'll share my thoughts with whoever adopts this plunnie.

I wasn't sure about when a good time for Tsunade to come back would be. The way I see it, the further back you go, the more time to prepare and make major changes there is.

Thus, if you end up far into the past, you damn well better save the entire world. For this story, that means Naruto doesn't become the dead-last and gets a good team, Mizuki dies a horrible death right away, along with Danzo, and maybe Koharu and Homura. Zabuza and Haku survive, and Wave Country is still saved. Sarutobi survives the invasion, or dies killing Orochimaru once and for all.

Oops, I revealed some of my ideas. Oh well, that happens in most time travel fanfics anyway, so no harm done.

A few notes on the story itself. First, Sakura did something ten times worse then what she did in "To live is so much harder" and "Demons of the Leaf" put together. Thus, Tsunade is determined to make sure that if she doesn't die on her first c-rank mission, she stays useless forever.

On that note, if you do a Google image search of useless, you will get a picture of Sakura as one of the top results, seriously.

As for Naruto, I don't think anyone wants to read about me ranting about how much of an idiot he is. Don't get me wrong, he's one of my favourite characters, but there's a reason almost all Naruto-centric stories improve drastically on his canon counterpart.

Edit: As of January 25, 2011, this plunnie now belongs to Kariann-chan. Good luck with it!


	7. Gang Aft AGley

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Gang Aft A-Gley

Naruto sighed as he left the hospital for the second time in one day. The first time was when he came to visit his team-mate, Uchiha Sasuke. Unfortunately the nurse, who seemed to be an ardent Uchiha supporter, or possibly an older Sasuke fangirl, refused to allow Naruto to see him.

That lead to a tense confrontation with Naruto and Sasuke's jonin instructor, Hatake Kakashi. Naruto tried to get Kakashi to allow the nurse to let Naruto visit Sasuke, but Kakashi reprimanded Naruto for making a scene in a hospital.

Since Naruto was denied a chance to check on his team-mate, he asked Kakashi for help with his training instead. Again though, Naruto was denied something he wanted, a sadly common occurrence for him.

Kakashi informed Naruto he would be training Sasuke exclusively for the finals, and had another instructor lined up for him. Naruto was indignant about that.

Had Kakashi explained that Yakushi Kabuto made an assassination attempt on Sasuke, or that Ebisu, the tutor he lined up for Naruto was far more experienced at teaching then he was, Naruto would have most likely been more receptive to the situation.

Alas, Kakashi did nothing of the sort. Therefore, Naruto grudgingly went along with Ebisu's instruction, with none of his usual enthusiasm for training.

Normally Naruto would have been excited to learn something new, but he was uncomfortable with learning it from the special jonin. The memory of their first meeting and Konohamaru's views of his personal tutor left Naruto biased against Ebisu, just as Ebisu may have been biased against Naruto due to his tenant.

Naruto had met Konohamaru and Ebisu shortly after learning he was the host of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon. While Konohamaru was too young to know Naruto's secret, Ebisu clearly did. Naruto knew it from the treatment Ebisu gave him.

Once, Mizuki was a teacher Naruto trusted. Now, he was the traitor who revealed the secret of the fox to him, and tried to kill him and Iruka. Due to this betrayal, Naruto would have a hard time accepting instruction from anyone who looked at him and saw only the fox demon.

Naruto did not mind Kakashi, as due to his laid back nature it seemed he did not harbour any negative feelings regarding the fox demon. Naruto had also seen Kakashi's abilities first-hand, and considered him quite strong. In Naruto's mind, Kakashi was one of the best ninja's he knew, so who better to learn from them him?

The correct answer, as odd as it sounds, is almost anyone. Kakashi became a genin at the age of five, chunin a year later when he was six, and a jonin when he was thirteen. Not only that, but since he had never taken a genin team on before, he had no teaching experience.

Simply put, Kakashi was unsuited as a teacher. Put him in charge of an seasoned squad and assign them the most dangerous missions on hand and you would see the power of Kakashi the Copy Ninja.

If you made him the jonin-sensei for a trio of inexperienced brats, and you would get the lazy, adult literature reading, perpetually late Kakashi most people were familiar with.

Naruto, of course, knew none of that. So he went along with Ebisu to the hot springs where they practiced the water walking exercise. At one point, they heard giggling and discovered an older man spying on the women's side of the hot spring.

Ebisu called out the peeping tom for his inappropriate act, and was promptly flattened by a giant toad. Torn between calling out the old lecher for incapacitating his tutor and taking Ebisu to the hospital for treatment, Naruto chose the latter.

That brings us to the present moment. Ebisu was resting, and would be back on his feet in the morning. With his trainer for the finals out of commission, and feeling hungry, Naruto decided to get some ramen from his favourite restaurant.

* * *

Kakashi observed Sasuke as he practiced the moves he copied from Rock Lee. Both of them had watched the boy fight with their sharingan active, and thus had copied his fighting style. Kakashi was hoping Sasuke would be able to mimic Lee's speed, thereby gaining an edge against Gaara.

'_He'll need every advantage he can get. Not only that, but with Orochimaru targeting him I'll have to watch Sasuke closely.'_

That reminded Kakashi of his other students.

'_Naruto was upset that I wouldn't train him. He wouldn't even listen to my reasons why. It's too bad he's up against Hyuuga Neji. Being a genius like me, Naruto has no chance against him. At least losing to him will help humble Naruto. Then maybe he'll calm down and start acting maturely.'_

While Kakashi was lost in thought, Sasuke continued practicing his taijutsu. Forms that took Rock Lee over a year to ingrain into his memory Sasuke had done in a day.

'_I'm sure Naruto will do fine with Ebisu. The man is a skilled tutor. Naruto has so many glaring weaknesses, Ebisu will be sure to work on that, while not actually teaching him anything useful. Naruto isn't ready to learn any techniques yet. He would not be responsible with them.'_

The thought that teaching an assassination move to a mentally unstable boy with a vengeance obsession, as Kakashi was planning to do, would be a bad idea never occurred to him. Kakashi firmly believed Sasuke needed it to defeat Gaara.

'_Besides, once Naruto has improved enough, Jiraiya will take over watching him. That will allow me to focus completely on Sasuke. Really, it's for the best.'_

Now if they had only told Naruto that, he might have co-operated. Alas, the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.

* * *

Naruto was sitting at his usual seat at Ichiraku, eating a bowl of ramen Ayame gave him on the house for making it to the finals of the chunin exams. She added if that he was promoted, she would give him a special gift, and winked at him. Naturally Naruto was completely unaware of Ayame's intentions.

Just as he was finishing his bowl of free ramen, a familiar face sat down beside him.

"Hey, Naruto!" Umino Iruka said to his former student/teacher's pet.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto replied happily.

"I heard you made it to the finals of the chunin exams. Congratulations."

Naruto grinned at Iruka.

"Yeah, I'm just that awesome, aren't I?"

Iruka merely adopted a stern expression.

"You know, it's very rare for rookies to be nominated for the chunin exam, much less actually make it to the finals. I was even opposed to all of you entering. That doesn't mean I don't have faith in you, just that I felt you needed more experience first. Still, you made it this far, so you've proved me wrong."

Iruka, having finished his lecture, then placed his order, and left Naruto to think about what he said.

'_Were we really ready for all this?'_

Thinking back to all the troubles he had in the exam, Naruto would have to say no.

'_I couldn't answer a single question on that first test. In the second test, I was almost eaten by a giant snake, I had to use the fox's chakra to beat that freaky snake lady. I almost didn't even beat Kiba in the preliminaries.'_

Sensing Naruto's mood change, Iruka tried to cheer him up.

"Don't worry about it now. You made it, and that's what matters. Now, it's up to you to show everyone you're ready for the next level."

Naruto smiled at his former instructor.

"Thanks Iruka-sensei!"

"Don't mention it. By the way, how's your training for the finals coming along?"

Naruto's look went sour again as he relayed the events of the day to Iruka, who was not pleased at all by Kakashi's dismissal of his students. To that end, he made a decision that would change history.

"Don't worry Naruto, I'll take over your training for the finals. Think of it as making up for not doing such a good job teaching you before."

Naturally, Naruto accepted the offer.

* * *

It was now the day of the finals of the chunin exams. Naruto stood with the other contestants. He still wore his orange jumpsuit, even though he acquired a new one.

'_If I let people think I'm still the same old Naruto, they won't expect much from me. If I showed up looking nothing like me, they'll change their expectations accordingly.'_

That was one of many lessons Iruka gave Naruto and Sakura during their training. When Iruka found out Kakashi did not make plans for his other student, he had Sakura join him and Naruto, who was very happy to have her there.

It seemed that with Sasuke gone for the month with Kakashi, Sakura could actually focus on her training, as well as helping Naruto with his. On occasion, they would also visit their friends in the hospital.

Aside from an embarrassing moment between Hinata and Naruto, that may or may not lead to something more between them, there was one fortuitous event. On a visit to Lee alongside Shikamaru, they were able to prevent Gaara from killing him. The experience left the trio quite rattled.

Looking around, Naruto noted that neither Sasuke or the sound genin were present.

'_It figures that Kakashi's lateness is rubbing off on Sasuke. They're starting to get more and more alike. I wonder if Sasuke will start wearing a mask?'_

Eventually, a jonin named Shiranui Genma arrived and explained that he would be the proctor for the finals, Dosu, the sound genin had dropped out, and that Shikamaru would fight Temari instead.

With that out of the way, the first match between Naruto and Neji was soon called to a start.

* * *

"Did he really have to improve so much?" Shikamaru asked Shino.

Naruto's match against Neji had just ended in his favour, clearly demonstrating his ability.

"I thought he was like me…"

"Like you?"

"Everyone's cheering for him now, there's no way I could beat him."

Shikamaru and Shino continued watching Naruto running his victory lap, showing off his abundant energy. Soon enough though, the next match between Gaara and Sasuke was called.

* * *

The ten-minute reprieve for Sasuke was almost over. Earlier, they had postponed his match, and called for Shino and Kankuro's match. The Sand ninja surprised, and upset many by forfeiting. Temari fought Shikamaru next, though he gave up shortly into the match.

Had Naruto not improved and spent the past month developing a counter-strategy to combat Neji, their match may have gone on longer, giving Sasuke time to arrive. Or if Shikamaru had put some effort into his match, rather then quitting almost as soon as it started, he might have still had the needed time.

Funny how Naruto was the one to point out that as long as Shikamaru demonstrated his knowledge, he would be promoted even if he lost. Or if his match was long enough, Sasuke may have enough time to arrive before his match.

He did not though, and was disqualified, to the chagrin of many. Naruto was then called down to fight Gaara.

* * *

It was a few days later now, and the funeral service for those who died in the Sand/Sound invasion was being held now. The Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen was among many who died. His death affected many, just as Sasuke's did.

The self proclaimed avenger was furious about being disqualified, and blamed it on his perpetually tardy teacher, who was just as indignant about it. There was nothing they could do, as they quite literally arrived in the middle of Gaara and Naruto's match.

They did not have to go far though for a fight, as Gaara had suddenly transformed, signalling the start of the invasion. Naruto, along with a member of ANBU, went after Gaara, while Kakashi ordered Sasuke to help with the evacuation of the civilians.

Sasuke however wanted to fight and test his ability, and was upset at not getting the chance to do so. The invasion gave him one, and he took it. Sasuke fought against the Sand and Sound ninja, using the technique Kakashi taught him.

Alas though, he could only use the Chidori a limited number of times. Running out of chakra, Sasuke was forced to rely on the curse seal for power. Unfortunately, he could not yet control it. The curse seal caused him great pain, leaving him vulnerable. A group of Sand ninja were quick to cut him down.

The deaths of Sasuke and Sarutobi caused Naruto great pain. He was staying at Sakura's house with her parents, having met them during the past month. He and Sakura had gotten quite close, and one day she invited him over for dinner.

Her parents, apprehensive at first, had accepted Naruto, and jokingly approved of her dating him. Sakura of course, vehemently denied any interest in Naruto, to his dismay. Now, Naruto and Sakura were both grieving, and comforting each other. She still insisted their relationship was platonic, and did so with a red face. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment was unknown.

When the funeral was over, neither Naruto or Sakura stopped to talk to their sensei. Instead, they left Kakashi alone, and returned to Sakura's house, to grieve in private.

* * *

The Go-Ikenban of the Hidden Leaf Village had just been called for the second time in a month. The representatives from the Hidden Leaf Village consisted of the Jonin squad leader, Shikaku Nara, the ANBU commander, who's identity was unknown, former root commander Shimura Danzo, and the Hokage's advisors and former team-mates of Sarutobi Hiruzen, Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu.

The others were the Fire Daimyo and his advisors. Aside from the Hokage themselves, they were the sole leaders of Fire Country and the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

The first time they were called together recently was just after the Sand/Sound invasion, where they quickly decided on a new Hokage. Jiraiya was their choice, but he declined, and suggested his team-mate, Tsunade instead.

Jiraiya would then search for her, as she was away from the village. He wanted Naruto to accompany him, but the boy, only knowing him as an "old lecher", refused to do so, even after Jiraiya offered to teach him a technique of the Fourth Hokage's.

Naruto decided he would rather stay in the village and help with the reconstruction and many D-rank missions. His mass shadow clone technique was an invaluable source of cheap labour, and was heavily exploited. Naruto was earning a lot of goodwill for his efforts, and did not want to give it up.

Jiraiya was forced to concede, and left to find his former team-mate on his own. He did eventually find her, but was unable to convince her to return. Even worse, Orochimaru attacked them. He had made Tsunade an offer, the revival of her brother and fiancé in exchange for healing his arms.

She refused, resulting in a three way battle between the Legendary Three Ninja. Tsunade had yet to overcome her hemophobia, and Orochimaru capitalized on her weakness, killing her. Enraged, Jiraiya fought off Orochimaru.

In the end, Jiraiya brought her body back to the Hidden Leaf Village, with her apprentice's help. In a way, he succeeded in his mission. Jiraiya was glad that Naruto refused to join him, as he might have died as well.

Shizune, Tsunade's apprentice, rejoined the Leaf Village's active roster as a medical ninja, assisting at the hospital. She was grieving, but as an experienced ninja, she could control her emotions and focus on doing what she could to help.

Jiraiya though, was devastated by Tsunade's death, and again refused the offer to become Hokage. He left the village, and would not be seen again for some time.

Still without a leader, the Go-Ikenban convened once more to determine who should lead them.

"Is there not a suitable candidate among the ranks, or anyone who desires the position?" Asked the Fire Daimyo.

Danzo was about to speak up, but Shikaku beat him to it.

"There are no S-class shinobi left among our ranks. The strongest left amongst us are primarily specialists. We are very strong in one area, but either have an obvious weakness, or some personality quirk."

Everyone nodded at that. The stronger the ninja, the weirder they were it would seem.

"I myself possess the knowledge to lead, but not the ambition or desire. I'm not much good in a fight on my own these days either." Shikaku continued.

"What about Hatake Kakashi?" Asked the Fire Daimyo.

Shikaku snorted, and Koharu spoke up next.

"He may be powerful and has a strong pedigree, but does not live up to his potential. His implanted sharingan eye consumes a portion of his chakra, even while it is covered, limiting his available reserves. This makes it a source of great power for him, but at the same time hinders him."

The Fire Daimyo, not too knowledgeable of these facts, encouraged Koharu to continue.

"Not only that, but he has developed a reputation for his tardiness and open perversion. Had he been training seriously and not wasting other's time, he might have his peers support."

In order to become Hokage, one not only needs to be approved by the Go-Ikenban, but they also need to pass of vote of confidence by the jonins of the village. Due to his blunder with his team, his reputation had taken a hit, possibly preventing him from gaining a passing number of votes.

"So Hatake is unsuitable at this time." Said the Fire Daimyo. "Quite a shame. Well then, we have established that there is no one with the power or experience suitable to become Hokage. Is there at least anyone who currently desires the position of Hokage and is working to gain it?"

Danzo took this chance to throw his hat in the ring, but was rejected due to his age and physical infirmity. Realizing that Danzo would not give up, Shikaku did the unthinkable.

"There is one person who actively seeks to become Hokage. While he does not have the power, yet anyway, he has demonstrated amazing potential, and in another ten years could become Hokage."

Homura, Koharu, Danzo and the ANBU commander shot Shikaku a look that said "are you out of your mind?" There was only one person they could think of who matched that description.

"There is? Why have I not heard of him before?"

Shikaku took a deep breath before continuing.

"It's Uzumaki Naruto." Was all he said.

The Fire Daimyo pulled out a fan and covered his face with it, concealing his expression. As the pre-eminent leader of Fire Country, he was aware of Naruto's tenant, and until now, less then positive reputation. Lately however, Naruto seemed to be growing more and more popular.

In an effort to defend his sanity, and suggestion, Shikaku spoke again.

"Since he's become a genin, he's not only saved a minor nation and had a landmark named after him, he's also saved the leader of the Hidden Waterfall Village."

The ANBU commander spoke now.

"He helped one of my subordinates defeat the son of the Kazekage, who as it turned out, is the host of the one-tailed tanuki and the one most likely to become the next Kazekage."

Homura spoke next.

"Since the invasion, he's spent his time using his army of clones to help around the village. They've been working on the rebuilding, taking D-rank missions, thus freeing up other ninja for more important missions, and doing whatever anyone needs done. I don't know why we haven't had him doing this before."

Everyone present actually thought about that for a moment. Why hadn't they put Naruto to his full use before?

"His loyalty has never been in question. Not only that, if he was Hokage, we would be able to protect him at all times. Once the Akatsuki organization that Jiraiya informed us of begins to move, his safety will be paramount." Koharu said.

As the former team-mates of Sarutobi, Homura and Koharu respected his wishes. Their interest with Naruto lay solely in securing his safety.

As for Danzo, realizing that the opinion was shifting towards Naruto's favour, he attempted to salvage what he could.

"Uzumaki is still young, but malleable. If he desires to become Hokage, why don't we give him what he needs to do so, and become the kind of Hokage this village needs, while we still have the chance? I for one, would not mind passing on my wisdom to ensure he learns how to become an effective Hokage."

The not so hidden meaning was quite clear. Mould Naruto into the best possible Hokage possible, effectively making him a puppet carrying out their ideals for hopefully, decades to come. It was a more direct version of Sarutobi's method of dealing with Naruto.

Danzo's words were pondered for a moment before the Fire Daimyo spoke up once more.

"Well, we still have some time before we have to assign a new Hokage. Let us not rush the decision. I'm sure there is someone we can all agree would make an excellent Hokage."

Naruto's name was then thrown into the maybe pile for Sixth Hokage candidates, with a recommendation he receive extensive training to prepare him for the role. After all, there had to be somebody else they could select for Fifth Hokage, right?

* * *

Author's Notes: Here's a twist on Kakashi rejecting Naruto for training during the chunin exams. I tried to explain his reasoning for it here, but it still painted him in a bad light. That's why I don't want to continue it myself, it's too close to bashing him.

He and Jiraiya did have a plan for Naruto. The idea here is it goes horribly wrong, or in some ways, right. How many other stories have Sasuke die and Naruto get promoted right to the top?

I think Firestorm is the only story that deals with Naruto training seriously during the exams, becoming the Fifth Hokage, and how he deals with it. It's very AU though. I might recycle some scenes here if I do my other idea for Naruto becoming the Fifth Hokage.

There's plenty of ship teasing here, so any pairing is possible. Whoever picks this up could even throw in a possible political marriage with Temari for Naruto. Just don't make it a harem.

It's not necessary to use all the ideas here. One of my original ideas was to just make it a story focusing on Naruto's training with Iruka for the finals, and have them be the main characters.

I didn't go into any details on the training or fight scenes. I'll leave that up to whoever takes this over.

Oh yeah, I killed Tsunade. How often does that happen?


	8. Orange Dawn

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Orange Dawn

In one of the many clearings in the woods of Fire Country, a young couple sat by a roaring fire. They had been travelling for a few days, no destination in mind. In the words of the blond haired male of the two, "we shall go where the wind take us."

The wind had been blowing southwest when they set out on their journey, thus they had followed it, only stopping as they were near the border of Rain Country.

It was getting dark, so they decided to set-up camp for the night. The male enjoyed some instant ramen, while his lover cooked some katsudon for herself. They had finished their meals soon enough, and were currently enjoying each other's warmth, which seemed to dwarf that of the fire before them. It was not too long however, before one of them spoke up.

"Naruto," she said, getting her lover's attention, "what are we going to do next?"

"Whatever we want to Karin, whatever we want to." Naruto replied to a now identified Karin, former grass ninja turned researcher to Orochimaru.

Karin's previous loyalties were to Uchiha Sasuke, who she aided in seeking out Uchiha Itachi for him, so he could complete his vengeance. Once doing so however, he threw her away like trash, and Naruto found her. Eventually, through their own shared sense of loss, they grew closer, culminating into their present relationship.

"I'm not sure what I want to do…" Karin admitted.

"Don't worry my red-hot pepper," Naruto comforted her, using his nickname for her based on his mother's, "we have all the time in the world to think about it. We're free now, we have the freedom to do whatever we want. How many shinobi can say that?"

Naruto's words seemed to have a calming effect on Karin, who cuddled closer into him, enjoying his warmth and the feeling of his chakra. Karin let it wash over her. It was one of the many things she loved about Naruto, the feeling of security she always had just by being around him.

They remained like that for some time, neither feeling very tired. It was almost as if they were waiting for someone. As if on cue, someone did in fact make his presence known.

"It's feels like it's been quite some time since we last met. I guess I can't call you a brat anymore now, huh?"

Naruto and Karin did not even turn towards the speaker. They had long known he was approaching, due to Karin's chakra sensor abilities. The person who had called out to them was a chakra powerhouse like Naruto, so she easily sensed him coming. Karin had not even needed to speak up to alert Naruto, as he could read her easily.

"Why don't you join us?" Naruto called out to their guest. "I caught some fish earlier, I figured you might come on by and I thought you might appreciate a nice snack."

The snack, which was kept warm by the fire, consisted of some rice, fish, and local herbs, freshly picked from the area. It was not much for a meal, but rather a nice gesture.

"Thanks kid, you were always one of the good ones." Their guest said, setting down his massive sword, sitting down nearby and helping himself to the offered food.

They sat in silence for a bit longer, the only sounds the barely audible chewing and swallowing of the possibly unexpected guest. He barely made a sound as he ate the food that had been prepared for him. It was as if he was a master of being silent. That said, he was still the first to speak up after the comfortable silence.

"That hit the spot." He said, finishing his meal while having a drink from a water bottle he carried with him. "So, have you reconsidered our leader's offer?" He asked Naruto, getting down to business.

Naruto, who had yet to look over at his guest, not that said man found it offensive, what with the beautiful red-head by his side who was keeping his attention all to herself, looked into Karin's ruby red eyes, as if asking her what she thought.

"I will go where you go." Karin answered succinctly.

"Thank you." Naruto replied, kissing Karin, thankful for her devotion.

"Isn't that sweet. I'm glad you found someone kid. After everything you've been through, it's the least you deserve." The as yet to be revealed man said.

"Ah, you're just jealous," Naruto said back, turning to his guest for the first time, "and I'm not a kid anymore either. I'm going to be your new partner, so that makes us equals."

The mystery man gave a wide grin at hearing that, his razor sharp teeth glistening in delight.

"That's good to hear. You should take this then." He said, handing a package to Naruto. "Welcome to Akatuski, you won't regret this."

Naruto opened the package, and found a black cloak with red clouds, the signature attire of Akatsuki members, along with the ring that once belonged to Uchiha Itachi. Putting them on, Naruto addressed his new partner in crime.

"Thanks Kisame. I'm sure I'll do just fine."

It was late at that point, and the sun had fallen. The three of them retired for the night after that. In the morning, they would set out for the Hidden Rain Village in Rain Country, and the Akatsuki's primary headquarters. Naruto and Karin had their own tent, to _celebrate_ Naruto's new career, while Kisame slept under the stars, wondering how different things would be from now on.

* * *

It had been quite some time since Naruto, Karin and Kisame arrived in the Hidden Rain Village. Security was, in Naruto's words, tighter than Karin their first night together. He did not complain about either. Eventually, Naruto and Karin were cleared for entry into the village, and spent a few days settling in.

At the moment, Karin was working at one of the many hospitals, putting her skills to use. Naruto, was very nervous, as he was meeting the other members of Akatsuki, who were being assembled for the first time in years. This was made even more momentous as it was also the first time in years that they had a full roster of ten members.

Since he and Kisame were already present in the village, they were the first to arrive. The leader of the organization and his partner were also present, but would only appear once the others had arrived.

Slowly, the remaining six members entered the meeting area. First were Sasori of the red sands and Deidara, the terrorist bomber from the Hidden Stone Village. Next were Kakuzu and Hidan, the zombie brothers. They were named so due to their apparent immortality.

Zetsu, the half plant member and spy for the organization came next. Finally, the last member, and the one who now wore the ring that formerly belonged to Orochimaru arrived. He was none other then Yakushi Kabuto, Orochimaru's former right hand man.

Now that everyone was waiting for them, Nagato, using his Deva path of pain, and Konan, made their appearance at last. For the first time since Orochimaru betrayed them, Akatsuki was whole.

* * *

Naruto's meeting with the other members of Akatsuki had been eye opening for him. He learned that Nagato, the leader of Akatsuki, shared a similar goal to his own. They differed however, on how to accomplish it, just like Nagato differed with Uchiha Madara, the former true leader of Akatsuki on how to accomplish it.

That was what led to Madara's death at the hands of Nagato, Konan, Itachi, and even Orochimaru, who seemed to have a vested interest in sacrificing the immortal Uchiha to the God of Death. It was as if he was giving a peace offering to delay his own sentence, not that it did him much good in the end.

Now, Naruto was working with Akatsuki, which used to have an interest in the tailed beasts and their hosts. After Madara's defeat, Nagato shifted their goals away from collecting the tailed beasts, which was Madara's plan, and back to long term destabilization of the hidden shinobi villages. It was a plan Naruto supported.

Once, while seeking to obtain the power of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon, Naruto met his parents. They each said to him something that had a profound effect on him.

"As long as a shinobi culture exists in this world, there can never be true peace." Were the words of Naruto's father, Namikaze Minato, the Fourth Hokage.

"We need to fill ourselves with love…, then, even if we had to live as Nine-Tails' power of human sacrifice, we could still be happy." Uzumaki Kushina, Naruto's mother said to him.

Minato's words gave Naruto a way to accomplish Jiraiya's dream of a peaceful world, and by working with Akatsuki, Naruto could make it happen. Kushina's words encouraged Naruto to seek companionship from someone who would reciprocate his love, and through unusual circumstances, he found Karin.

Now, Naruto filled with love and his desire for peace would obtain it, by any means necessary.

* * *

One day, while training with Nagato's six paths of pain, Naruto noticed something that intrigued him. During their spar, he managed to heavily damage some paths, only for them to soon reappear, completely unharmed. Upon investigation, Naruto discovered the ability of Naraku Path to heal the other damaged paths through use of the outer path. It gave Naruto much to think about, especially considering a later discovery made while working with Kabuto.

* * *

Kabuto's role in Akatsuki was largely the same as it was when he was in Orochimaru's employ. He conducted medical experiments of a rather questionable nature, though the results seemed to be worth it. One day, Kabuto was in need of much assistance, and procured Naruto's help, along with his shadow clone army. While assisting him, Naruto noticed something odd.

"Hey Kabuto," Naruto said to his fellow Akatsuki member, "isn't that guy supposed to be dead?" He finished, pointing to someone who appeared to be Kimimaro of the Kaguya clan.

"He is. Kimimaro, as you know, died attempting to bring Uchiha Sasuke to Orochimaru, for use as his next vessel. I believed his death to be a waste, so I brought him back to life, well sort of."

Naruto gave Kabuto a questioning look.

"I can tell you're intrigued, Kabuto said, adjusting his glasses, "so I'll explain how it was possible. I used the summoning: impure world resurrection to revive Kimimaro as my indestructible slave. It was a technique created by the Second Hokage, and the same technique Orochimaru used to bring him and the First Hokage, back to life to fight against the Third Hokage.

Naruto had mixed feelings about the technique.

"Here, let me give you a demonstration." Kabuto said, doing just that, as Naruto watched closely.

* * *

After seeing Kabuto perform the summoning: impure world resurrection, Naruto began to research it closely, along with the abilities of Nagato's Naraku Path. His investigations culminated into a perfected version of the technique, that along with Nagato's abilities, would allow them to create a true resurrection technique.

This led to Naruto's present situation. He was with Kabuto and the Naraku path in a medical laboratory. They were going to bring back, at Naruto's behest, two people he missed very much, despite hardly knowing them.

"Are you ready?" Naraku path, as the leader of Akatsuki's avatar and thus in charge asked.

Receiving a nod from Naruto and Kabuto, they began the procedure. Only moments later, two people, dead for many years, were now back among the living. One was a woman with very long red hair, and the other was an effeminate boy.

"Mom, Haku…" Naruto said, happy to finally have a member of his family, and someone he considered family back in his lives.

"Let's leave them alone." Nagato, also a distant member of Naruto's family said to Kabuto through Naraku path.

They then left, leaving Naruto to have an emotional reunion with his mother and former enemy.

* * *

To say Kushina and Haku were surprised to be alive again was an understatement. That Naruto was so desperate for a certain familial bond that Karin couldn't give him, though she would one day join his family and give him one of their own, spoke much about the hardships he faced in his young life.

After some time, Kushina and Haku adjusted to their new circumstances. Kushina became the mother she was meant to be for Naruto, as well as Haku who Naruto considered the brother he never had, but now did. There were some who questioned the exact nature of Naruto's relationship with Kushina and Haku, but he never confirmed or denied any rumours.

At last though, Naruto's life had finally became tolerable. He had a wonderful lover that he would soon marry and have a family with. His mother was with him, and doted on him, Karin and Haku endlessly, as if trying to pamper them to death.

As for Haku, he took advantage of his second chance and accepted that he was no longer someone's tool, but his own master. Now that he was part of a loving family, Haku sought to have one of his own. For now, he settled for developing his skills with his bloodline while enjoying his second life.

The peace was not meant to last. One day, while enjoying breakfast with his family, Naruto was summoned to meet a prisoner who had been caught attempting to infiltrate the village. When he met with the prisoner, he discovered it was someone he hoped never to see again.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it, Sakura?" Naruto said to his former team-mate, _Uchiha_ Sakura.

* * *

Author's notes: I've had the idea for a Naruto joins Akatsuki fic for some time, but I never knew where to go with it. These are the few ideas I had. That's why the details are sparse. I just wanted to get them out of my head, and make them someone else's problem.

The funny thing is, Naruto joining Akatsuki could just be used as an explanation for him learning how to revive the dead, and set-up for a story about Naruto desperately seeking acceptance, love and family and the lengths he'll go to in order to get it. There would be a side-plot involving him being a member of a terrorist organization out to conquer the world by eliminating everyone's ability to challenge them as well.

If it's not obvious, this is very different from canon. Most of part two happened quite differently. The point of divergence lies with Madara's defeat, and that Akatsuki never went after the tailed-beasts, no longer having an immediate reason to do so. Thus, they're all alive and well, except for Itachi, who was killed by Sasuke.

That would be another major change. Without Madara to mind-screw him, Sasuke went back to Konoha, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

If you're interested in other Naruto joins Akatsuki fics, there's A New Cause by MysticD109, one of the oldest fics on the site, thus it predates modern Akatsuki. It's still good. There's also The Daemon of Pain, which is part of a trilogy, and A Midsummer Nights dream. Unlike the other two, it's incomplete, which is too bad, it was pretty good, and ended on a bit of a cliff-hanger.

One more recommendation. It's "Naruto and the Rocks" by li.u 88. Read it's reviews as well, they're great.


	9. Four Is Death

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Four Is Death

In the office of Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, said man was in a meeting with his advisors, Utatane Koharu Mitokado Homura regarding the status of their forces after the Uchiha massacre.

"So let me get this straight," Sarutobi said to his advisors and former team-mates, "the reason we have had a low rate of graduating teams and a higher rate of casualties and fatalities in field missions is due to a superstition?"

The village's shinobi academy only had a thirty-three percent success rate. Out of twenty-seven students, only nine became official genin, and were assigned in groups of three to a jonin instructor.

"I know it sounds absurd, but the evidence does not lie." Homura commented to his team-mate turned superior.

"The academy only produces nine graduates on average that meet the minimum requirements to become genin, based on our research into it's practices."

They produced a well documented report listing many deficiencies in the academy and several ideas for eliminating them. The most controversial change was the one they were addressing at the moment.

"So, you believe by increasing the number of members in each cell from three to four, the success rate will increase as well?" Sarutobi asked.

"Not necessarily by that change alone, but with the others we suggested." Koharu said this time.

At the mention of the suggested changes, Sarutobi read the document they were listed on once more.

'_Less focus on academics and more on practical skills, more intense chakra control exercises to help those with developed reserves and to identify those with excellent control to become medics, well, Tsunade will like that. Hmm, they even have an outline for a medical program based on her old recommendations.'_

"I will concede that overhauling the academy looks to be a worthwhile venture. What of the five-man cell though? It would be difficult for a single jonin to properly teach four students at once outside of a classroom setting, not to mention the difficulty a team of five would face in the field. A single jonin would be hard pressed to watch over four genin should danger arise." Sarutobi said.

"I believe you may have just answered your own question." Homura said.

Sarutobi gave him an "explain now smart-mouth" look and Homura gulped before continuing.

"You said a single jonin would have difficulties with teaching four students. What if two jonin were assigned to each group instead? They could focus on two students each at a time when both are available, and one could still take missions while the other instructs the team should it be necessary to do so. In the field, they could split into two teams, a jonin and two genin each while moving to remain hidden. Should trouble arise, I'd say they should be adequately prepared for it."

Sarutobi took a long drag from him pipe to collect his thoughts as he considered his team-mates proposal.

"Very well, we will implement your ideas. If successful, we may just revolutionize how shinobi squads are formed. There is the problem of the chunin exams being limited to teams of three, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Homura and Koharu were pleased to hear their ideas were accepted, and began to put them into practice right away.

* * *

_Three years later…_

"Is it that time already?" Sarutobi asked himself as his advisors and the representative from the Shinobi academy, Umino Iruka entered his office to discuss team formations for those who passed.

"Yes it is." Homura answered as he, Koharu and Iruka took their seats.

"So, we will finally attempt the six-man squad." Sarutobi commented.

Since their changes were made gradually to allow for adaptation, they did not use their planned six-person squad model the previous two years. Instead, they opted to wait until they were sure it would work to allow it the best chance of success.

"So tell me, how many passed the genin exam, and what are their profiles?" Sarutobi asked.

This was Iruka's department, so he responded.

"As you know," he began, "due to the increased standards, several students have improved beyond what they originally would have achieved, while others could not keep up with them."

'_Hmph, that was one way to deal with those disgraceful fan-girls.' _Koharu thought deviously, to Uchiha Sasuke's eternal gratitude.

"Thus, several students who would have a year left in the academy actually met the required minimum standards and were given the genin test. Naturally, they all passed." Iruka continued.

Sarutobi let a small smile show on his aged visage. He was well aware of that fact, as the class Iruka referred to included several clan children, who easily flourished under the new standards. Among them though, it was a not so ordinary orphan, Uzumaki Naruto who bloomed the most, becoming the academy's most improved student. Another orphan, Uchiha Sasuke also showed much potential, but he was the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre, the last of a once noble clan.

"Based on their exemplary history, I'd say all nine of the early graduates qualify for the experimental six-man squad. I looked over the records for the final years graduates, and I have selected the three most likely to qualify as well." Iruka said.

Twelve folders, nine for the early graduates and three for those from the current class were presented for the others to study. Sarutobi, Homura and Koharu each took their time examining each folder.

"Now that we have seen the students, it is time to select their masters." Sarutobi began. "I have selected a number of jonin and special jonin. One of each will be paired up to teach a team. Should the special jonin perform well enough, they will be considered for a promotion to full jonin. Let us begin."

He then took out several more folders containing the information for several jonin, special jonin, and even a few chunin under consideration for a promotion to special jonin to allow them to join the experiment. Again, each person examined every folder.

"Alright, now for the fun part, sorting everyone into acceptable and balanced teams." Sarutobi said jokingly, knowing it would actually be a much for difficult task.

After much discussion, some consumption of alcohol, take-out from the Korean barbeque restaurant, quoting from Make-out tactics, a speech on youthfulness, and for some reason, the uses of a rubber duck in the field, they had made their decision.

* * *

Today was the day of team assignments, and one newly promoted genin in particular was like a ball of energy ready to explode at a moments notice.

'_I'm finally a ninja, and a year early too!' _Uzumaki Naruto thought as he tried his best to contain himself.

His years in the academy under the old regime would have been considered boring to him. Under the new one, he flourished. The increase in practical studies, like taijustu, kunai/shuriken accuracy, chakra control and ninjutsu gave him an outlet for his pent-up energy. He slowly but steadily made vast improvements in those areas. His confidence grew as he did, and oddly, tiring himself out from all that helped his academic studies as well. When he was full of energy, he could barely sit still and was unable to focus. After the morning exercises and lunch, he was calmed down enough to sit through his teacher's lectures without complaint.

While he was not the smartest student, as his academic grades held him back from claiming the top spot in his class, he was still regarded as one of the strongest in it. His boundless stamina let him hold his own against even the chunin instructors, and his determination prevented him from accepting a loss. If someone beat him, he would improve until he defeated them in turn.

Although he had trouble with ninjutsu at first, due to his high chakra reserves, the new chakra control exercises let him improve enough to identify his trouble spots, and perform the basic three techniques with ease. No one had a more flawless transformation technique, could make more clones, or replace themselves faster than Naruto could.

As he sit in his usual spot at the back of the class so he could observe his classmates, Naruto did just that.

'_Shika is sleeping, Choji is eating chips, Kiba's playing with Akamaru, Shino is… sitting there, Hinata looks sick again, I hope she's feeling okay, Sasuke…'_

Naruto's thought's paused again as he observed his rival, and the two attempting to take the seat next to him.

'_I wish Sakura would sit next to me, I even saved her a seat.' _Naruto thought at he looked gloomily at the empty seat to his right, not noticing Hinata in the seat next to his left.

'_That's it, I'm tired of this.' _Naruto thought, deciding that giving up on something just once would be okay.

"Why don't one of you take the seat next to him, and the other _sit in his lap_." He called out to Sakura and Ino.

Both girls blushed immediately at the idea, and Sasuke shot Naruto the dirtiest look he could. Naruto ignored it completely. In the end, Sakura and Ino each held onto a side of Sasuke while straddling one of his legs. As they shot each other dirty looks, Sasuke tried his best not be the one to blush.

"Alright, settle down." Iruka called out as he entered the classroom, along with three other students he escorted to the room.

Seeing that everyone, all twelve of them including the newcomers, were already more or less sitting quietly, Iruka reproached himself.

"Sorry, force of habit. I'm used to having to yell to a full classroom to gain it's attention." He said.

Iruka coughed to clear his throat, then delivered an obviously elaborate and well prepared speech that Naruto ignored in favour of looking out the window to his left at a squirrel. Hinata was also partially in his line of sight, which caused her to mistakenly believe that he was looking at her, which caused her to blush furiously.

"…and that is why you always carry a spare pair of underwear on a mission." Iruka said, finishing his speech. "Now, for the team assignments. Before I announce them, I have something important to explain."

The squirrel was gone now, so Naruto turned back to Iruka. If the blinds had been kept open during the academic lessons, Naruto may not have passed them.

"Unlike previous years where three students were assigned to a single jonin sensei, this year we are performing an experiment. Instead of four teams of three and a jonin sensei each, you will be divided into three teams of four, and assigned to a jonin and a special jonin sensei."

Iruka's words gained everyone's attention, who had mixed thoughts about it.

"Team number one, under jonin Might Guy and special jonin Gekko Hayate will be Rock Lee, Tenten, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata."

Lee and Tenten seemed okay with being assigned together, though a bit upset they were not with Neji, as they were more familiar with him. Naruto liked how his team was number one, and Hinata was ecstatic at the news; she looked like she was about to faint.

"Hey, we're on the same team!" Naruto said to her. "Do you to get some ramen for lunch to get to know each other better?" He asked, hoping she was different from his now former crush.

That was when Hinata fainted, collapsing onto Naruto.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Team number two, under jonin Hatake Kakashi and special jonin Yuuhi Kurenai will be Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba, and yes, you too Akamaru." Iruka continued.

Sasuke let out a groan at being stuck on a team with one of his fan-girls, but relented that Shino and Kiba would not be so bad. Sakura let out a cheer of triumph, declaring that "love conquers all" and shoved Ino to the side. Ino took a seat with Shikamaru and Choji, who she now knew she'd be on a team with, along with the mysterious boy from the year ahead of them she was now looking at dreamily. Shino showed no outward sign of his reaction, but Kiba groaned. Akamaru looked happy to not be forgotten.

"That just leaves team number three, under jonin Sarutobi Asuma and special jonin Mitarashi Anko will be Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino and Akimichi Choji." Iruka continued again.

Shikamaru appeared to be resting, but was awake, and had no problems with his team so far. Choji seemed happy to be with his childhood friends, while Ino, originally upset that she was not on a team with Sasuke shared the sentiment, and comforted herself in the fact that Neji seemed interesting. Neji himself showed no outward signs of his feelings, and merely believed that being assigned to this team was his fate.

"You can take the rest of the morning off to get to know your new teams better and come back after lunch to meet your teams. Until then, you are all dismissed." Iruka finished.

The various teams then moved out more or less as one, and began their first steps towards greatness.

* * *

Author's note: That's as much as I feel like writing for this. Basically the idea is simple, four student teams with two sensei each. Team one has a taijutsu and kenjutsu specialty, team three is a capture/interrogation/assassination team, and team two is a hunter team with a genjutsu specialty.

The superstition mentioned is that in Japanese, the word for four is a synonym for death, and is unlucky. That made me wonder why teams have four members, and gave me the idea for a four student and two sensei team, that usually split into two teams of three.

As usual, this idea is up for adoption. I have a new rule though. If you've already taken one idea, you have to finish it before taking another. If anyone is interested in this, let me know and I'll discuss my ideas for it with you. I'll even beta it if you need one.


	10. Reversal of Lives

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Reversal of Lives

A six year old Uzumaki Naruto was looking out over the Village Hidden in the Leaves from a lookout point above the village's Hokage monument. From this point, Naruto could see the entire village that refused to see him.

'_Nobody cares about me. They act like I don't even exist.' _Naruto thought glumly as he gazed at the tiny dots that were the villagers going about their day.

Unlike what most would think if they heard the truth of the circumstances behind Naruto's unfortunate life, he was not abused, at least not physically. Instead, he was ostracized; the people around him refused to acknowledge his existence. While some would argue that being physically abused would be better, as at least they would be forced to recognize him, the one being abused would likely disagree.

'_They're never going to like me. What should I do?' _Naruto continued to wonder.

In another lifetime, Naruto would have been much more hyperactive than a normal child his age. His boundless energy would require an outlet, leading Naruto to start pulling pranks. After one failed prank, the Third Hokage himself, Sarutobi Hiruzen, who would reprimand Naruto, and take the boy to a ramen stand for a free meal. There he would meet a kind man and his pretty daughter who would be the first to acknowledge Naruto. The Hokage would tell Naruto all about his role, and Naruto would gain a sanctuary, and a dream. He would seek to become Hokage, in order to gain the recognition he desired.

Due to different circumstances, this Naruto was quieter and reserved. He still had more energy than others his age, but not as much as his counterparts in those other lifetimes. This Naruto was slightly more focused, and much less optimistic. As a result, he was capable of making a decision his alternate selves could not, or would not make.

'_This is it. Tonight, I'm leaving this village for good.'_

* * *

It would be quite some time before anyone noticed Naruto's disappearance. Two years later in fact. It would be Sarutobi who noticed Naruto's missing presence. While checking to see how Naruto was doing now that he was in the ninja academy, Sarutobi would be disappointed to find the boy was never enrolled into it. Worse, no one had seen him in what seemed like years, and records of him were few and far between.

Sarutobi would blame himself for Naruto's disappearance. He had trusted those who worked for him to look out for the boy, and his trust was obviously misplaced. Many nights the elderly Hokage would wish he had taken a direct interest in Naruto's life, regardless of the dangers that would be caused by doing so.

Even more frustrating was that he had no idea what Naruto's fate was. There was no way to know if he was kidnapped, killed, or simply ran away. Unable to bear the shame of losing his successor and predecessor's legacy, Naruto's disappearance was swept under the rug. As far as anyone knew, the boy was still in the village, not that anyone cared.

* * *

_Four years later…_

It was now the day of the finals for the chunin exam, which was held in the Hidden Leaf Village this year. Eight finalists stood in the arena floor, some eager for their chance to be promoted. Others were eager for something far more sinister.

Soon the first match was called to begin by the proctor. Hyuuga Neji, the rookie of the year from his class faced off against his team-mate and class' dead-last, Rock Lee.

Despite what sounded like a one-sided match, Lee had flourished in the short time he spent training with his instructor, Might Guy. His speed and taijutsu skill had developed greatly. After an impressive match, Lee finally defeated his team-mate and self declared eternal rival at last.

The next match was between Gaara of the Desert, as he was known due to his ability to control sand, and Kinuta Dosu from the Hidden Sound Village. Both like and unlike the previous match, this one was also considered to be completely one-sided, and it was. Gaara won by crushing Dosu to death with his sand. Killing was not against the rules, but merely frowned upon. Although the proctor tried to intervene to save Dosu, he was too slow.

After that brief and deadly match came the one between Nara Shikamaru and Aburame Shino. Both were considered highly intelligent, and were suspected of holding back their true skills. True to form, they actions showed they were holding back somewhat, either from laziness, or a desire for secrecy. However, they showed a considerable amount of intelligence with their tactics. Shino was eventually declared the winner of their extended match when Shikamaru forfeited, claiming he was low on chakra and would not be able to win the next match in his condition.

Finally was the match between Temari, Gaara's older sister, and Uchiha Sasuke. The boy was the rookie of the year of his class, last of the Uchiha, and considered quite strong. He possessed a great deal of chakra that posed him much difficulty in controlling, though through much effort he managed to do so. Many hoped he would become great and rebuild his clan, making more powerful than ever. Some even believed he would be Hokage someday.

A few even thought that after defeating her, Temari should be arranged to wed Sasuke as part of a political marriage between the Hidden Sand and Hidden Leaf villages. Temari thought differently. As far as she believed, the Hidden Leaf Village would no longer exist at the end of the day.

As for their match, both were quite skilled, Temari with her battle fan and wind techniques, which had an advantage against Sasuke's new lightning techniques. Unfortunately, they were at a disadvantage against fire techniques, which were the Uchiha clan's specialty. After an exciting match, Sasuke emerged victorious, mainly due to his abundantly available chakra.

An intermission was called before the next round, and when it was over, Gaara fought Rock Lee. Again, while it was expected to be a one-sided match, Lee proved why you should never underestimate someone. He fought very well, and managed to push Gaara harder than anyone ever did. Ultimately though, Gaara won. Luckily, the proctor and Might Guy were able to intervene before Gaara could kill or cripple Lee.

Shino and Sasuke fought next. The bug user attempted to use his allies to drain the last Uchiha of his chakra to replenish his, but they found it tainted, as if there was something inhuman about it. While Shino's actions were distracting, and he was able to siphon some chakra, Sasuke's reserves proved too abundant to drain entirely. Sasuke's lighting and fire techniques also made short work of Shino's destruction beetles. Unable to deal with losing so many of them, Shino was forced to reluctantly concede.

Another intermission followed the end of the semi-finals, leading to the final match between Gaara and Sasuke. The two were keen about their fight. Gaara wanted to satisfy his bloodlust, and Sasuke wished to test his skills against a strong opponent.

Soon enough, the proctor called an end to the intermission and called the start of the final match of the chunin exams.

* * *

Sasuke was in a rough spot. Gaara's defences had proved impenetrable, even by his prized Chidori. After nearly being beaten by Lee, the sand user had become more cautious, and strengthened his sand considerably. Sasuke's attempts to cut through the armour of sand used by Gaara and strike the insomniac himself proved fruitless. Gaara merely used that time to strike back with sand spears and shuriken, which caused grievous wounds to Sasuke.

One of the benefits not possessed by Sasuke among his strange gifts was the ability to heal faster, which only a few redheads from a lost clan and one blond boy no one cares to remember did have. Sasuke remembered it though, as he had once seen that blond boy scrape his knees after tripping, and they healed instantly. The blond boy shrugged it off, as if he thought that was normal.

Sasuke had no idea why that particular memory came back to him, but kept it, and the whiskered face of that blond boy in the back of his mind, suspecting it was of importance.

Thinking over his chances, a part of Sasuke knew he had no chance of defeating Gaara. However, he refused to admit defeat, confident, or rather deluded that he could still win. Some might call him suicidal, and they may be right. Focusing his chakra into another Chidori, this time as much as he could to make it as strong as possible, Sasuke charged forward with it in another desperate attack to harm Gaara.

Or kill him, the Chidori was classified as an assassination technique, though it was more of a one hit kill move for heavy combat. It was unknown just what Kakashi was thinking when he taught it to Sasuke, along with either of their intentions.

Either way, it did not matter. The Chidori struck Gaara's sand sphere, but it was unable to strike at the one within it. The sand poured outward, encasing Sasuke, who blacked out from chakra exhaustion.

* * *

Sasuke awoke inside what appeared to be the prison from the Uchiha clan's old police headquarters. Only it was in disrepair, as it looked much worse than he remembered. The cells were strange as well, as they were filled by a dark haze. Looking into one, Sasuke was surprise when the haze lifted and a memory of his played out before him. It was of the blond boy he remembered earlier, only it appeared in much better clarity. Sasuke surmised he was in his mindscape, and the prison was its representation. He saw this memory as it was fresh in his mind for some reason he had yet to understand.

Continuing along and seeing more memories, some good and some bad, Sasuke eventually came to the end of the prison. A massive cell was before him; a slip of paper with seal written on it acting as the lock. A loud, guttural growl emanating from the cell broke Sasuke from his thoughts, causing Sasuke to seek out its source.

The origin of the growl shocked Sasuke. The being that required a massive cell, the being sealed in it, sealed in him, was the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon. It offered Sasuke something he desired, power, and Sasuke accepted it, not realizing the consequences of his decision.

* * *

An eruption of red chakra threw away the sand enclosing Sasuke and knocked Gaara back. It revealed Sasuke, covered in a cloak of the red chakra shaped like a fox with one tail. While Gaara had never met another power of human sacrifice before, and could not recognize its power being used, the people of the Hidden Leaf Village had seen it before, and recognized it instantly.

In another instant, their long held beliefs began to change, and not for the better. Uchiha Sasuke, their beloved prince who they hoped would lead them to greatness was the one who bore the burden of being the human prison for the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon.

The people were in shock. For years, who they thought was an unimportant orphan was the target of their hate, dismissal, and fear. He was not though; the real one was the Uchiha before them. If Uzumaki Naruto was not the host of the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon, than who was he? Only a handful of people knew, and they were the ones filled with the most shame as they realized they were the guiltiest of all.

* * *

Author's note: I'm positive there was a challenge for a story like this once. I only remember a story based on it. Basically, Naruto is not the host of the fox demon, but is treated like he is. At some point, he leaves the village. That's all I remember. If someone knows who made the challenge, or the stories based on it, let me know. I doubt I'd take it up, but I have some ideas about it.

As for what those ideas are, I can share them. I can imagine a few things happening to Naruto. He could be found by Zabuza and Haku, help them with the Mist rebellion, and become a member of the Seven Swordsmen.

He could be found by Onoki, the Third Tsuchikage, who discovers his parentage and raises him to be his successor and take revenge on the Hidden Leaf Village while teaching him the secrets of dust release.

Or Orochimaru could find him and train him as his apprentice, leading Naruto to one day kill Jiraiya, the man who should have raised him. Similarly, Madara or Nagato could find Naruto and do the same.

Finally, Naruto could live in a small village, working as a peasant farmer on a dirt farm. Because he never learned how to use chakra, he lost the ability to do so as he aged. By the time he's found, Naruto is an adult and too old to become a ninja. The boy who could have been the next Hokage lives out a comfortable life as an ordinary farmer, marrying a girl he had grown to like and has a small family with her. He never knew conflict, just a life of hard work, having never been given his large inheritance from his parents and godfather.

In a twist on that, and based on another story with a slightly similar plot to the above idea, Naruto could have the wood release bloodline. By not having the fox's purified chakra in his system overpowering his own and giving Naruto the fox's wind affinity, his own would come out. This Naruto would be trained as a ninja by his love interest, a girl who's father was a former Stone ninja who was injured and left for dead in fire country during the third great shinobi war, who would also help Naruto. They'd teach him earth and water techniques to go with the wood ones he'd be forced to invent, as well as any other other skills they had. Eventually, Konoha ninja would find them, and Naruto would be forced to return to Konoha with his new family as their lives would now be in danger with his location known. This is my favourite idea.

Another idea is that Jiraiya or Tsunade could have found Naruto, confirmed he was not the demon host, and raised him themselves. Naruto could be living with the toads, or travelling with Tsunade, Shizune and Tonton.

Finally, Naruto could be dead, having died in the streets or the wild.

As for Sasuke, the village's rapidly changing opinion of him and the fox's influence on his unstable mind lead him to leave the village as well, becoming Orochimaru's apprentice. He doesn't have the curse seal though, as it would be too dangerous to give it to him, considering the unknown effects it would have on a demon host.

After Sasuke's departure, the people of Konoha seek out Naruto, whose parentage would have been leaked once it was known he was not the demon host. Whether they find him, or he finds them is unknown.

Again, this plunnie is free for adoption, provided you haven't adopted and finished a plunnie of mine already. I'll help as much as I can with it, even beta it if necessary.


	11. The Last Sunset

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

The Last Sunset

Once more, Hatake Kakashi was standing before the memorial stone. This time, there were two more names upon it. Two more people that he would visit each day, and share stories of how those close to them had been.

Might Guy.

Rock Lee.

The experimental surgery to repair the damage done to Lee's body during his fight against Gaara was not a success. As a man of his word, Guy kept his promise to Lee that if the boy should die, the master would die with his student. Rather then die a shameful death by suicide, Guy decided his last act would be a noble sacrifice. While mourning Lee's death and deciding what his last noble act would be, he received an answer in the form of an ignoble act.

Shortly after Lee's failed surgery, Uchiha Sasuke willingly defected from the Hidden Leaf Village. Under the protection of the Sound Four, Orochimaru's elite bodyguards, Sasuke made his way to the waiting snake handler. His reason for abandoning his home was to gain the power necessary to kill his older brother and avenge his clan as soon as he could, rather than stay safe in his home and patiently develop his skills.

A team led by newly promoted Nara Shikamaru was supposed to be sent out to retrieve Sasuke. Guy had not been informed or requested to participate as his emotional state was questionable. Guy however, was still a jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village, and had his own ways of keeping well informed of any important developments.

As soon as he learned which direction the Sound Four took off in, Guy was off on their trail, opening the eight gates to gain the power and speed to overcome and defeat them. Opening all eight gates might not have been necessary, but to Guy, his life was already forfeit.

In a short amount of time, Guy came upon the Sound Four and the _captive_ Uchiha Sasuke. The Sound Four, recognizing Guy as a jonin, used the power of their cursed seals. Guy might have broken a sweat against them if he was not using the gates, but he was, and defeated them soundly. Even the last minute arrival of Kimimaro, leader of the Sound Four and last of the Kaguya clan, could not stop Guy. The user of the dead bone pulse proved a challenging opponent, but still fell to Guy's might.

His self appointed final mission had been accomplished. The last thing Guy saw before dying was Shikamaru and his team arriving on their official mission. He died smiling; knowing none of them would have to risk their lives today. In the eyes of the Hidden Leaf Village, one the life of one jonin was not worth that of several genin and a chunin who could, and as Guy believed, would, one day surpass him. His final words were to one of his surviving students, Hyuuga Neji, who kept them a secret, as it was a personal matter.

Shikamaru and his team, aided by Uzumaki Naruto's shadow clones, brought back Guy, Sasuke and the Sound Four, or Five, with Kimimaro. The Sound Four were turned over to Torture and Interrogation. Kimimaro's body was given to Shizune for autopsy, along with Guy's body. Sasuke had his chakra completely sealed up and was locked away in a mental ward, finally receiving help for all the damage his brother had done to him over the years.

In the end, a bitter victory was claimed by the Hidden Leaf Village. They had lost a strong jonin and a promising genin, while Orochimaru lost much more. His bodyguards were now prisoners of the Hidden Leaf Village, and two potential hosts were now completely out of his hands. It would only be a matter of time before the Hidden Leaf pressed its advantage and struck back at the snake handler.

A search of Guy's home found a note. Among other details written upon it was a request from Guy that Kakashi take on his surviving students as his own. Guy had always respected Kakashi for his emphasis on teamwork and not abandoning your comrades. He expressed his guilt for doing just that, and asked for forgiveness, hoping that Kakashi would teach Neji and Tenten well.

That brought Kakashi to his present train of thought. With Sasuke's future as a shinobi on indefinite hold, Sakura training with Tsunade and Naruto with Jiraiya, the future of team seven, which now included Neji and Tenten, was up in the air.

* * *

Shortly after Guy's funeral, after a grieving period, all four genin now assigned to team seven met with their sensei, as well as Tsunade and Jiraiya. Tenten was ecstatic over meeting Tsunade in person, while Neji was curious about meeting Jiraiya. After being beaten by Naruto, Neji had begun to question his belief in fate and predetermination. Jiraiya was just like Naruto, someone who started weak and remained in someone else's shadow, but steadily grew stronger as he aged.

Settling the team issue was difficult, but eventually accomplished. They eventually decided that while Naruto needed to be as strong as possible to prepare him for the Akatsuki (although they kept that a secret from the other genin) denying him a chance at being promoted with his peers would be detrimental to his self-esteem. If he was the first from his class to become a jonin while being the last to be promoted to chunin and even become Hokage someday, he would always have the stigma of being the dead-last from the academy. Therefore, Jiraiya would wait until Naruto became a chunin before taking him on as an apprentice.

As to who would be Naruto's team-mates, they decided that Sakura and Tenten would join him, just for the chunin exams while Neji took the promoted Shikamaru's place on Team Ten. Once they were all promoted and Naruto's training trip with Jiraiya was complete, he, Sakura, Neji and Tenten would become a four man call.

As to who would lead that cell, it would depend on whoever became a jonin first. Neji was the one most likely to do so, but Tsunade made a stipulation allowing Naruto to take solo missions on his training trip and be tested for a promotion to jonin upon his return.

Having settled the issue of team formations, everyone went back to their previous duties. Only now, Tsunade and Jiraiya had the added burden of dealing with their former team-mate once and for all. Kakashi now had to care for four genin, although Tsunade would train Sakura on occasion.

Now everyone was preparing. Naruto and his team-mates for the chunin exams, Jiraiya and Tsunade for Orochimaru and him in return, the Akatsuki for when they began to move out, and Uchiha Itachi for how to deal with his brother.

* * *

Author's Note: I got this idea while reading chapter 180 of Naruto. I've never seen anyone do a plot based on this, so I gave it a shot. I know it's just summary, but it's meant to be a plot bunny, not a full fledged story. I don't think I have the skill for the angst involved.

That said, this idea is up for adoption to anyone who hasn't already adopted and completed a plunnie of mine. Please give it a good home.

Edit: Changed the title, I noticed the original was too similar to another story's title.


	12. Big Damn Heroes

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Big Damn Heroes

The recipe for _Big Damn Heroes _is as follows:

_Take one dash of Main Character…_

"I'm going to be Hokage someday, believe it!" Naruto said, shouting one of his catch phrases as he ran from rooftop to rooftop, evading his pursuers after his latest prank.

It was bad enough for the chunin chasing after him that a six year old could evade them, for him to do so in broad daylight while shouting at the top of his lungs as if he was not even trying to hide, but get a nice run, was just pathetic.

It was also unfortunate that Naruto had a liking for wearing a lot of orange, as during the day it reflected a lot of sunlight, making it hard to stare directly upon him at times without getting temporarily blinded. Naruto used those moments to gain a lead or occasionally slip away.

Another trick involved the use of the clone technique and a piece of camouflage. Naruto would hide himself and conjure a clone seemingly from thought alone, as if the need to create one was from pure survival instinct alone. Unfortunately, no matter how much he tried, he had yet to create a clone in controlled circumstances.

During one such instance that day when Naruto once more successfully used a clone to send his pursuers on a false trail, something happened that changed his life as he knew it.

"Heh heh heh," Naruto laughed to himself as he enjoyed a moment of freedom. "If I can fool chunin this easily, by the time I graduate, I bet I could pull one over the Old Man with ease! Then he'll have to admit I'm good enough to be Hokage and hand over the cool hat!" He said to no one in particular, as it was very odd to speak out loud when no one was around as thinking to oneself would suffice.

"Putting your qualifications for becoming the Hokage aside, why would you even want to do so?" A voice from behind Naruto asked him.

Apparently he was not alone after all. Turning around slowly out of fear for being caught red-handed from his latest prank, as he had yet to wash his hands, Naruto looked at the man who just questioned the goal he had for as long as he could remember, which was not very long at all.

The man appeared old to Naruto, but not as old as the Old Man himself, who Naruto suspected once had a pet dinosaur and a map of the world when it was all one continent.

"I want to be Hokage someday so people will acknowledge me and treat me with respect; believe it!" Naruto said in earnest.

"If I say I believe you, will you stop saying that?" The not as old as the old man asked.

Naruto just nodded, too happy that someone now believed he could be Hokage to speak.

"I'm Jiraiya by the way. Normally I'd do a much more elaborate introduction, but right now I'm trying to keep a low profile, as I'm sure you are as well. Based on what I've heard, you're Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

Naruto just nodded again, happy his reputation had preceded him.

"So simply put, becoming Hokage is just a means to an end for you?" Jiraiya asked.

Naruto just blinked, that was not simple enough for him.

"I mean, you just want to be acknowledged and respected and saw becoming the Hokage as the way to do that, right?" Jiraiya asked, getting another nod from Naruto. "What if I told you there was another way for that to happen?"

"There is? Tell me, tell me!" Naruto said, jumping up on down on the balls of his feet as he tried to contain his excitement.

"There is. Instead of becoming the Hokage and have to do lots of paperwork, attend meetings and have appointments with clients, you can become a hero like me and be acknowledged and respected for saving people. Being a hero isn't enough though, you have to become a Big Damn Hero if you want to be really acknowledged and respected."

Needless to say, Jiraiya had Naruto's attention.

* * *

_Add a tablespoon of love interest…_

After hearing Jiraiya's life changing thoughts on how to be acknowledged and respected like he always wanted without the added drawbacks of added responsibilities, Naruto was doing something he rarely did, or at least not very hard; he thought out how to best accomplish his new goal of becoming a hero as he continued to run through the village, evading his pursuers who had caught on to his trail.

Of course, this lead to Naruto doing something he did quite often, jump headfirst into a situation without looking. In this case, he literally ran headfirst into a girl with short, purple hair, knocking her down. Naruto only hit his head so naturally, he was fine.

"Ow." The girl, obviously a kunoichi in training based on the fact she had not burst out into tears, although sadly many did at times even upon becoming chunin, moaned out.

"Ami, are you alright?" Another girl asked the victim of Naruto's accidental head-butt.

The purple haired girl named Ami slowly rose to her feet with the help of her two friends/minions.

"You got lucky this time Haruno, next time someone might not come to your rescue." Ami said as her minions lead her away to treat her concussion.

Naruto was confused, which was not an unnatural state for him. Turning around to see who Ami was addressing, he noticed a familiar girl with pink hair.

'_Sakura,' _he thought, remembering the girl who he thought was cute from their classes at the shinobi academy.

Only now Sakura's cute, pink hair was askew and her pretty green eyes were red and moist from crying. She did however have a smile on her reddening face that made Naruto feel very happy as he knew the smile was directed at him and few people ever did so.

"You saved me from those bullies, you're my hero!" She proclaimed with a slight blush.

"I am?" Naruto asked, more to himself than the girl he just saved, as he had only just moments before decided he wanted to be a hero and already was one. "Of course I am!" He added in a definitive tone and the realisation he not only already succeeded in his new goal, but saved what he thought was a rather cute girl as well. "You're in my class at the shinobi academy, Sakura, right?" He asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous himself.

"Uh huh." Sakura answered, nodding shyly as she did not expect her rescuer to remember her.

Suddenly, a voice called out to them, saving both of them from further embarrassment.

"Naruto, there you are!" Iruka said to newest student, who was still growing on him and would take years to do so. "I know what you did with the live trout and a bucket of paint over at the Akimichi estate, you are in a lot of trouble!"

Naruto looked worried for a moment that Sakura would not like him for being a prankster, but she still had a look of hero worship on her blushing visage. Apparently, she liked bad boys. Who knew?

"I have to go now." Naruto said, as Iruka was allowing him to say good-bye to Sakura. "I'll see you in class tomorrow then!" He added before being taken away.

"Bye." Sakura said, waving as she saw Iruka take Naruto away.

The day had not started off too great for Sakura, but in an instant, it became one of the best days of her life, right up there with the day she befriended Yamanaka Ino. Speaking of the devil…

"Sakura! Sorry I'm late, I was held up helping out at my parents flower shop. Are you alright?" Ino asked, noticing Sakura's dishevelled appearance which did not match the smile and blush on her face.

Speak her name and she shall appear.

"I'm fine." Sakura said.

Ino knew there was more to that, Sakura's blush and smile told her that her pink-haired friend was ecstatic and in her mind, that meant only one thing.

"You found a boy you like, didn't you?" Ino asked, a hint of trepidation in her voice.

_'And by the looks of it, he saved her from some bullies too.'_ She further thought, adding to her concern.

In Ino's young mind, there was only one boy who stood up among the crowd and if Sakura had come to the same conclusion, things would be very difficult between the two of them.

"Uh huh." Sakura said, repeating her earlier answer.

While Ino had done a lot to help Sakura come out of her shell, she still had a long way to go with the shy girl to bring out the fiery temperament she saw within.

"Who is it?" Ino asked, getting worried. "Who do you like?"

Sakura looked up and met Ino's gaze for the first time in their conversation.

"I like Naruto!"

* * *

_Mix together Hero and Love Interest with a cup of Comic Relief Character in a pot until boiling. Cool, then serve…_

Six years, that was how long it had been since Jiraiya had begun to return to the village at regular intervals to meet with his godson. He had slowly helped the boy with his deficiencies and over time, informed him of the many secrets concerning him once he was sure Naruto was ready to learn them, though there was still much he had yet to learn.

Jiraiya was not the only new presence in Naruto's life. Ever since that day that he saved Sakura and they had become friends, he always walked her to class to be with her, thus his attendance record became exemplary. He also found out Sakura was quite smart, so he began to put more effort into his studies so she would not think less of him, not that she ever would. Sakura also helped him with his studies while he helped her with the physical aspects of shinobi training like basic exercise and martial arts practice.

By the time they were in their final year of the shinobi academy, they had become an official couple. While they were happy together, they felt that something was missing and they did not know what it was. Little did they know they would soon find out.

"Class, we have a new student joining us today. He'll be taking the final exams and will be assigned to a team with two of you once you graduate." Iruka explained.

There was no doubt that no one would pass the final exam. Even Naruto was one of the better students, thanks to Sakura's help. He was in the top three for practicals along with Uchiha Sasuke and Yamanaka Ino, but only average at academics. Sakura herself was top in academics but only average at practicals, making her and Naruto well balanced together.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?" Iruka suggested to the pale faced boy.

"Hello, my name is Sai." He said, using the name he had been given for his newest 'assignment'.

A new 'assignment' being the explanation given to 'Sai' after his cover was blown on a mission, leading to his demotion and re-integration with the regular shinobi. As far as Sai knew, he was on a very long-term Root mission when he was actually just cut loose. Unfortunately, he was still sending in mission reports to Danzo.

"Why don't you take a seat with Naruto and Sakura?" Iruka suggested again, pointing to the blond boy and pink-haired girl.

"Very well." Sai said as he made his way to them.

As Sai sat down next to them, he decided to greet them. Looking over the pink haired girl and remembering that his books suggested giving a nickname to people in order to become closer to them, he identified what he thought was Sakura's most obvious feature so he could nickname her as such.

"Hello Ugly, it is nice to meet you." Sai said, sealing his fate.

"What?" Sakura yelled loudly in a long display of lung capacity that Naruto would appreciate someday.

"Sakura's not ugly, she's really cute!" Naruto said, defending his girlfriend's honour.

Sai looked over at Naruto, past a fuming Sakura, who's face was turning completely red. It only took him an instant to decide on Naruto's nickname, making people question his thought process for years to come.

"Hello Dickless, it is nice to meet you as well." Sai said in his emotionless tone, still smiling despite the feminine rage developing right next to him.

"What did you call me?" Naruto yelled this time.

Normally it would have been Sakura's turn to defend her boyfriend's honour, but she was distracted by her own rage. Unexpectedly, someone else spoke up.

"That's not true; Naruto is very well endowed!" Hinata said, speaking up for the first time that day, or possibly ever.

Everyone except Sakura and Naruto turned to look at her at that point, causing her to realize what she just said, turn completely red and faint.

"I knew it." Ino declared after a moment of silence. "She's a total pervert. That Byakugan had to be good for something and not even she was above using it for her own gain. Pay up." She said as she collected her winnings from her classmates.

Shikamaru had not taken the bet, as he recognized a sucker bet when he saw one. Class had not yet begun and there was already enough excitement taking place to last a year.

As for Sai, he learned the lesson Naruto would not in this lifetime; just how much it would hurt to be on the receiving end of Haruno Sakura's wrath. She and her boyfriend could only take comfort in the fact they would only have to deal with Sai until they graduated. It was not like they would have to spend years dealing with him, right?

* * *

In the past six years, someone else had changed greatly. Since Jiraiya had been returning to village at times, Sarutobi decided to use the opportunity to convince his former student to succeed him, as he should have been retired many years sooner. Unfortunately, the Toad Sage had other priorities. Thus, Sarutobi decided on a different approach to convince his wayward student that he was no longer suited for leading a village.

"You damn kids, get off my lawn!" Sarutobi said to the academy students at the playground.

He tried obfuscating senility. He did not try hard enough though. As the academy was part of the administrations building that Sarutobi lived in, it could actually be considered his lawn.

"Look, it's the Hokage!" One brave child stated to his friends, who all ran up to their aging leader.

None of them were bothered by his attitude, which was that of a crazy old man. After all, it was a widely believed fact that the crazier a ninja, the more powerful they were. Sarutobi was now the craziest of them all, thus the Hidden Leaf Village's inhabitants were assured enough of his strength that they did not question his ability to lead them.

Sadly, Sarutobi attempts to get replaced, or at least fired, actually worked out for all of them. The Hidden Leaf Village's reputation grew considerably in recent years, gaining them many new allies and keeping potential enemies off their backs. Even the most fiendish of villains had been reconsidering risking the wrath of the Hidden Leaf Village and its leader.

* * *

Iruka had just finished his speech congratulating the recent graduates. It would be up to their new instructors to inform them of the dangers of the shinobi lifestyle should they pass their team examinations. Next, he moved on to the team formations, one of which stood out among the others.

"Team Three," Iruka called out, "Uzumaki Naruto", he said, getting the young boy's attention, "Haruno Sakura," he continued, eliciting a yelp of joy from Naruto, who happily hugged his girlfriend after hearing them being put on the same team, "and Sai," Iruka finished, causing Naruto to let go of Sakura and immediately pout while Sakura glared daggers at Sai.

For his part, Sai just smiled at them, not realizing his fate.

* * *

_For instant awesome, just add Anko…_

"Is it true you like to drink the blood of young males?" Sakura asked hew new instructor hesitantly, worried for Naruto and a bit jealous too.

"Oh, so you heard the rumour about my blood fetish. Don't worry, it was just a one time thing I did to intimidate some wannabe chunin last time I proctored the exams here. Your boyfriend is safe from me, I prefer an older, more malleable type of male with a feminine look." Anko replied in a way that created more questions than answers.

"_That's right, no one gets to taste Naruto's bodily fluids but me!" _Inner Sakura declared, though only Sakura heard her and not even that was certain.

Observing his new instructor closely in order to pick out the best nickname for her, Sai picked out what he thought fit her best and addressed her as such.

"Hello, _street-walker-sensei_."

Anko just smiled at the title, as while many may have thought that, few had the guts to call her that to her face. It was not a pleasant smile though, as her eyes were closed; it was a smile that promised pain and lots of it. Sai did not notice, but Sakura and Naruto did and moved away from their team-mate.

They had been off to such a good start too.

* * *

_A daily serving of Big Damn Heroes saves one princess, rescues two hostages, makes three new allies, defeats four missing-ninja, and liberates a nation._

After several D-rank missions where Team Three's team-work was at the point that Anko found them ready for more advanced tasks, that is they were no longer trying to kill Sai, she requested a C-rank mission for the team from Sarutobi.

"Very well, but before I honour this request, I have one of my own for each of you." He said in a serious tone, to which Team Three stood straight in attention. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

Team Three face-faulted.

"They really are quite good. I received them recently from a pen-pal of mine from overseas." Sarutobi continued.

"I'll try one then." Naruto said as he unwrapped a piece of the candy and began sucking on it, only to grab at his throat and begun convulsing moments later.

Sakura, who had a modicum of first-aid training, gave Naruto the Heimlich manoeuvre to help him spit out the offending sweet and gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation just in case. Or at least that was what she said to anyone who asked her about it.

"Oh well, more for me then." Sarutobi said. "Now, your mission." He said once Naruto was back to normal, getting his and his team's attention. "Team Three, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to escort a intoxicated bridge builder back to his impoverished home nation and guard him until the completion of his bridge or death, whichever comes first. This message will self destruct in three, two one…"

Sarutobi, who was really an exploding shadow clone then detonated, hoping to take out the paperwork with it. No paperwork meant no work. Alas, this was ninja village so the scrolls were explode-proof. The room was just left even more unorganized, thus creating more work for Sarutobi when he returned and had to clean it all up.

Team Three, who had taken cover, which involved hiding behind a wall of Naruto's shadow clones that were completely unharmed, stared at the room with mixed reactions. They were all fine, as Sarutobi, while obfuscating senility, would never directly harm his subordinates.

Naruto was in awe of the power of the exploding clone.

Anko vowed to either not let Naruto learn such a destructive technique until he had proven himself responsible enough to use it or teach it to him right away, sit back and enjoy the fireworks. She was torn between doing the responsible thing, or the thing that greatly amused her. In the end, it was no contest.

Sakura once again thanked Naruto for saving her and thanked the deities for letting her fall for a hero like him and not someone like Uchiha Sasuke.

Sai just wondered why the clone had not created a larger explosion and remembered some older men once talking about how they "go off" like they did when they were younger thanks to a special drug. Sai decided to get Sarutobi some to help him with his 'little problem'.

At that point, Izumo and Kotetsu, the unofficial gophers of the Hokage, entered the room.

"Look at this mess…" Izumo began.

"Not it." Kotetsu quickly stated

"Damn it, but who's going to give out the missions now?" Izumo asked.

"Not it." Kotetsu repeated.

"Damn it." Izumo swore again.

"Some people never learn." Naruto commented as he popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

* * *

Eventually, Team Three and Tazuna, the super awesome drunk/bridge builder, set out on their way to Wave Country and adventure. They were not the only ones though…

* * *

_Hidden Sound Village…_

"Kimimaro, I have a mission for you and Juugo of great importance." Orochimaru said to his devoted, but terminally ill servant.

"Yes my Master, what is it you request of me?" Kimimaro asked as he kneeled before Orochimaru.

"The jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tails has been assigned to his first mission outside of the village. Capture him alive and bring him back to me."

"It shall be done."

* * *

_Tanzaku Gai…_

"We're broke again." Shizune lamented as she and her master lost all their money gambling, yet again.

"We're just having a bad streak. We're due for a win soon. For now though, why don't we lay low for a while?" Tsunade asked her apprentice, who nodded at the suggestion. "I have a bolt-hole in Wave Country, we can hide there until the heat dies down, err, I mean, until our luck changes. Yes, I, err, I mean, we, certainly do not have any loan sharks sending mercenaries and missing-ninja with high paying bounties on their heads, nope, none at all."

Luckily for them, for once, Tsunade had only drunk a little by her standards, which was still a lot for the average person and was only slightly buzzed. That, and the mercenaries and missing-ninja listening in on them were not intelligent enough to recognize an obvious trap if they saw one.

Elsewhere, a young male wearing a pink kimono sneezed, which worried him, as he never once had a cold before.

"Alright then!" Tsunade declared. "Let's move out!"

Thus she, Shizune and their pet pig Tonton, like many others, made their way to Wave Country.

* * *

_Unknown Location…_

A man in a black cloak with a red cloud motif studied the note he just received from a contact of his in Tanzaku Gai.

"Tsunade the slug tamer, one of the Three Legendary Ninja, is on the move to Wave Country. I could not defeat her grandfather, but we should be more than a match for her. I will enjoy collecting the bounty on her head." Kakuzu said to his newest partner in a long line of short lived associates.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" The newest member of the Akatsuki said before running off.

Kakuzu slowly counted backwards from ten, and by the time he got down to three, his partner had returned.

"Which way is it to Wave Country?"

Kakuzu groaned. His new partner would not live past the month.

* * *

_For a dessert serving, as a frozen treat, pair up the crazy/awesome Anko with the comparatively normal but still delicious Haku._

Directions to follow at a later point.

* * *

Author's notes: Here's another plot bunny I've had in mind for some time. Once more, it is available for adoption to anyone who has not already adopted and finished a plunnie of mine.

As for this one in particular, I think a Naruto/Sakura/Sai team from the get-go would be better than Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke. For one, instead of a love triangle it's a straight up Naru/Saku pairing that's angst free, a rarity these days. Sai is a good comic relief character as well and is rarely used as such. As mentioned earlier, Anko is just awesome, so no explanation is needed. The Haku/Anko pairing is just something that amused me. Being her boytoy has to be a step up from Zabuza's tool.

This plot bunny itself is about 75-90% completed as the first chapter of a story, so anyone taking it up still has some work to do. If there are any questions, let me know.


	13. Ino the Thunder Goddess

Ino The Thunder Goddess

It was the start of a new year at the ninja academy in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. For eleven going on twelve year-old Yamanaka Ino, it would be her final year at the academy. When she graduated, she would be placed on a team with two of her classmates and a jonin instructor.

'_Hopefully I'll get Sasuke on my team.' _Ino wished as she made her way to the academy for class.

Like almost every girl in her age group, Ino had a crush on Uchiha Sasuke, the last loyal member of the once prestigious Uchiha clan. Even Haruno Sakura, a shy girl who owed much to Ino for helping her overcome her insecurities, called off their friendship in favour of pursuing a crush on a prepubescent boy who ignored them both.

Speaking of Haruno Sakura, Ino almost literally ran into her on the way to the academy.

"Watch it Ino-Pig." Sakura taunted Ino, using her usual insult.

"Sorry, but your huge forehead got in my way and it's almost impossible to avoid it." Ino said, countering with her own usual insult.

The two glared daggers at each other, and the spectators of the potential catfight could almost feel electricity crackling in the air.

Soon enough, their unfriendly dialogue degraded into a race to the academy, as it usually did. Upon entering the classroom, their attention immediately turned to the object of their desire, Uchiha Sasuke.

"Sasuke!" Sakura called out to him. "I made you breakfast!"

She then pulled a bento box out of nowhere and presented it to Sasuke, who, after carefully observing it, accepted it. Opening it, he found some onigiri. It was his favourite food, after tomatoes, not that he would ever admit it. Sasuke grunted, which was the closest to a thank-you he would give, and added the bento box to the pile he received from his other fangirls, and one fanboy.

Not to be outdone by her so called rival, Ino also pulled a bento box out of nowhere.

"Sasuke! I made you a breakfast too!"

Ino then handed it to Sasuke, who once again carefully examined it before accepting it. Opening it, he found some dango inside. While it was a sweet treat that was enjoyed by many, Sasuke hated sweets. Without even thinking of returning it or giving it away, Sasuke threw the bento box, dango and all, into the trash bin.

For a brief moment, Ino was happy. Sasuke had accepted her gift. Time seemed to slow down as Ino watched Sasuke open the box. Then it all came crashing down.

Ino, as a member of the Yamanaka clan was quite skilled at reading people, even if she seemed blinded by her own feelings at times. Now though, she could easily see Sasuke did not like her gift, no matter how he tried to hide it as he opened the bento box.

The next moments seemed to pass by in slow motion for Ino. As she watched Sasuke throw away her gift, she could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces. As the bento box fell into the trash bin, Ino's feelings for Sasuke were doing the same.

'_I went to bed early last night so I could get up early to make that. I worked hard on it, and didn't even eat breakfast myself so I could maintain my figure. How does he show his appreciation for all that? He throws it away!'_

In an instant, Ino remembered everything she did to get Sasuke's attention, how he ignored her efforts, and everything she sacrificed to get it. That was when Ino snapped.

"You, you jerk!" She shouted at Sasuke.

If that did not shock many of her classmates, Ino's next action did. She slapped Sasuke in the face with all her might. It left a large red handprint on his face.

"You can have him, I don't want him." Ino said to Sakura. "I hope it was worth it."

Ino then ran out, to make sure no one saw her crying. When she was out of the classroom, the students not stunned into silence began conversing.

"Do you think she's okay?" A pleasantly plump boy asked his sleepy friend.

"She'll be fine. We just need to give her some space for now. When she's ready to talk, she'll find us. She always does." The sleepy boy answered.

"Man did you see that?" A boy with red facial markings asked the boy next to him, who had whisker like marks on his face. "I never thought I'd see one of Uchiha's fangirls stand up to him. With the way he treats them, he deserves it."

His companion nodded while observing Haruno Sakura.

'_Maybe Sakura will stop liking Sasuke too! Then she might go out with me!'_

Wishful thinking indeed.

As for Sakura, she was just happy her primary opponent for Sasuke's love was out of the competition. Not that it brought her any closer to Sasuke. Said self proclaimed avenger, as usual, only had one thought on his mind.

'_I'll get her for this. No one makes a fool out of an Uchiha.'_

* * *

Ino returned to class after lunch. She sat in the back row of the classroom, and did not speak to anyone. When class was over, she quietly left.

The next day Ino sat down with her childhood friends, Choji and Shikamaru. Their fathers were on a team together, and were well known for their teamwork. Shikamaru, still trying to sleep, was silent. Choji was quietly munching on his chips.

"Hey, Choji?" Ino asked her friend in a subdued tone. "Can I have some of those? I'm kind of hungry."

If Ino had asked him that two days ago, Choji would have thought the world was coming to an end. Right now, he took it as a sign that Ino was willing to open up, and hopefully change for the better.

"Sure, take a handful." Choji said, offering Ino the bag. "Just leave the last chip for me."

Ino mouthed a 'thank you', took out some of the chips, and joined Choji in his quiet munching. Shikamaru, his head resting on his arms, which were resting on the desk, had a slight smile.

'_Yeah, she'll be fine.'_

* * *

After that, Ino continued to sit with her two closest friends. Choji would always bring an extra bag of ketchup chips, which were Ino's favourite. She would also join them for lunch, clearly having given up on her diet.

Sometimes Ino would play shogi with Shikamaru, or study with him. However, Ino would have to work at motivating him, so his usefulness as a study partner was limited. Ino wanted to improve, while Shikamaru was content with the status quo.

Ino had also began sparring with Choji more often, although like Shikamaru, Choji usually needed to be motivated first. He was also unwilling to go all out as Ino wished, out of fear of seriously harming her.

Having decided she was not getting any better with her friends help, Ino decided to try elsewhere. One day, about a month into the semester, Ino stayed after class so she could approach the instructor, Umino Iruka.

"Iruka-sensei," Ino began, "am I a good student? Do you think I can become a strong kunoichi someday?"

Iruka had a feeling why Ino was asking him for his opinion of her. Having heard what happened the morning of the first day of the semester, and seeing a slight improvement in her studies since then, it was clear she was trying to improve herself, and had hit a wall.

"I think you are one of the best students I have ever had." Iruka answered honestly. "Overall, you are actually the best student in this class, but not every aspect is counted when determining the top student."

Iruka wisely refrained from mentioning who was the actual top student, not that Ino did not already know who it was.

"What isn't counted then?" She asked.

"Things like co-operation and assertiveness. It's your willingness to work with others and speak your mind that gives you an edge, but determining the top student, or once you graduate, the top rookie, is based more on your abilities with ninja techniques, illusions, physical combat, and practical knowledge."

Ino frowned. While she and Sasuke were tied for highest in ninja techniques, and she had the highest assertiveness, she was second to Sasuke in illusions and physical combat. Ino was also second in co-operation and class attitude, though she did not know who was first in those areas. Sasuke himself was last in co-operation, and the second least assertive after Hinata.

"What do I have to do to improve?" Ino asked again.

Iruka came up with an answer soon enough.

"If by improve, you mean someday become the top rookie, there is a few things you can do."

By the slightly guilty look on Ino's face, it was clear to Iruka she wanted to not just better herself, but become better then Sasuke, and beat him thoroughly.

"Let's start with your weakest areas. Now tell me honestly, are you still trying to starve yourself pretty?" Iruka asked.

Blushing a bit in embarrassment, Ino replied.

"No, I'm over that now. I spoke to my mom a while ago, and she's got me on a proper diet. Her plan is to keep feeding me till I explode."

'_If Sakura finds out though, she might just call me Ino-pig even more. Hopefully now we can be friends again soon.' _Ino further thought to herself.

"That's good. Now that you are eating better, you will have the energy needed for more strenuous work. If you exercise more, you'll get stronger, and do better in spars. Improving your aim with shuriken and kunai would not hurt either."

Ino nodded in understanding.

'_Now that I'm not pursuing Sasuke anymore, I've been putting all my free time into improving myself. It's actually nice saying goodbye to nights of being perched in a tree outside the Uchiha district with a pair of binoculars. I wasn't too happy about saying hello to long, sweaty nights of exhaustion and being unable to feel my legs, but it's growing on me.'_

Being an eleven year-old girl, Ino was not yet aware she would, under different circumstances, enjoy a night like that.

'_I'd still have to beat Sasuke in a spar though. That will be tough.'_

"What else can I do to improve?" Ino asked, wondering if there were other ways to beat Sasuke.

Iruka put his hand to his chin in a thinking pose.

"Well, just try to master what you already know. Like I said, keep practicing your accuracy until you have a deadly aim. Study hard and pass every test with a perfect score. As for illusions, you are a disadvantage there considering the competition, so try to focus on identifying and dispelling them with ease."

Ino continued nodding. The Uchiha clan, while famous for their skill with fire techniques, were also very skilled with illusions. Beating one of them at their own game would be hard.

"What about ninja techniques?" Ino asked.

Iruka exhaled deeply before answering.

"I would say that as before, master what you already know. Keep practicing the basic three until you can perform them in an instant, without any hand seals, or extra smoke. The latter, while a good cover in some situations, is a sign of wasted chakra. That said, improving your chakra control would also be a good idea."

Iruka went to his desk and then began writing down some notes on a scroll.

"Here are some basic chakra control exercises. Normally most are not taught them until they become genin."

Ino read the first exercise listed. It was tree climbing, and described how to focus chakra to the soles of the feet to climb vertical surfaces.

"Let me guess, they don't teach this at the academy because then you'd have a bunch of students literally climbing the walls."

Iruka chuckled at that.

"Yes, can you imagine if someone like Naruto knew how to do this? Just think of all the trouble he could get into"

Ino giggled a bit, the most she had in quite some time.

"Okay then, so why tell me how to do this?"

Iruka gave Ino a serious look.

"I trust you with them. I see now you are truly serious about being a ninja, and would not misuse my trust."

That made Ino feel better.

"Thank you Iruka-sensei." She replied with a slight bow.

"Don't worry about it." Iruka said in a casual tone. "Oh, one more thing before you go."

Iruka then searched through his desk, before pulling out a small piece of paper.

"Try channelling some chakra into this. It'll reveal your elemental affinity."

Ino took the paper, and focused her chakra into it. The paper crumpled.

"That means you have a lightning affinity. If it was fire, it would have burned, water it would have gotten wet, wind would split it in two, and earth would have turned it into dust." Iruka explained.

Thinking it over, Ino found that it mad sense.

"You lectured once that elemental affinities are tied to the belief that the human body is made up of all five elements, right?"

Getting a nod from Iruka, Ino continued.

"So earth and water are the most common affinities since human's are mostly water, and earth is tied to the physical form, fire represents body heat, wind would be breath, and lighting comes from neural activity."

Iruka again nodded, pleased at how Ino paid attention to his lectures, unlike another blond.

"Since Yamanaka techniques are focused on the mind, neural activity plays a big part of them. I bet most of, if not everyone in my clan has a lightning affinity."

"That makes sense." Iruka said after thinking it over. "Clans like the Hyuuga or Akimichi, who focus on physical combat primarily have earth affinities. I believe the Aburame clan does as well. I'm not sure about the Inuzuka. I'd wager the Nara clan has quite a few lightning users as well, given their intellect."

It was unspoken why the Uchiha clan had so many fire users. Before the events of the previous month, Ino would have said it was because they are so hot. Iruka, remembering Uchiha Mikoto in her prime, would have agreed.

"I'll add some exercises for developing your lightning affinity to the list of chakra control exercises I gave you." Iruka said before writing down the additional information.

"Why do this for me?" Ino asked, referring to testing her affinity.

"It's another way to improve your chakra control, and since it takes years to develop a strong affinity, consider this getting a head start, especially as your competition may have already started this."

Ino took that under consideration, and decided to look up useful lightning techniques when she had a chance.

Soon Iruka finished his additions to Ino's scroll, and gave her another serious look.

"Remember, this is advanced material. I'm trusting you with this since you're making a genuine effort to improve yourself. Don't make me regret it."

Ino nodded, and bowed once more.

"I want to improve, and show everyone I'm not a fangirl anymore. You can count on me, I promise."

Iruka smiled and went back to his happy demeanour.

"That's good. I only wish everyone had your attitude." Iruka said, thinking of a certain blond delinquent.

Getting up, and taking back the scroll with her training tips, Ino thanked Iruka once more for taking a chance on her. Heading back home to a private training ground, Ino began her first steps towards no longer being an Uchiha fangirl and becoming Yamanaka Ino, the Thunder Goddess of the Hidden Leaf Village.

* * *

In the months after her talk with Iruka, Ino continued to train in an effort to become the best in her class. Ino had taken all the energy she once put into gaining Sasuke's affections and now used it to surpass him.

Her chakra control had improved considerably from the tree climbing and water walking exercises. That helped considerably when it came to mastering the basic three ninja techniques. Ino could now perform them with ease, and found them quite useful, making her wonder why no one ever bothered to do so.

As she would have a difficult time beating Sasuke in the use of illusions, she spent a lot of time working out to increase her strength to, quite literally, beat him in physical combat. Now that she no longer cared as much about watching her looks, Ino found she enjoyed feeling stronger.

When she was too tired to work out, Ino studied hard. Sasuke, and even Sakura seem to possess a photographic memory that gave them an edge in academics. Ino put a lot of effort into surpassing her current, and former rival.

Speaking of Sakura, she and Ino still had not repaired their friendship. She believed Ino recent actions were part of a scheme to attain Sasuke's attention, which she inadvertently gained.

Although he would not admit it, Sasuke's pride and ego had taken a hit now that Ino was no longer pandering to them. He certainly did not like being called a jerk in front of his peers. Not only that, Ino's recent progress was also a threat to him, and his position as the best in the class. He did not appreciate that one of his former fangirls was slowly becoming his equal, or worse, superior.

While some of Sasuke's admirers rethought how they felt about him after hearing of Ino's change of heart, others merely increased their efforts now that one of his most ardent admirers dropped out of the running. Despite their attempts at winning him over, Sasuke's attitude toward them was unchanged.

As for Sasuke himself, he seemed to take Ino's response to his rejection as a wake-up call as well. Whether it was for the better or worse, or if his new interest in Ino was mild curiosity or borderline obsession was unknown to anyone, including him.

* * *

After nearly of year of work, Ino's efforts would soon pay off. It was the day of the genin exam at the academy and she was currently waiting for her turn at the ninja technique portion of the exam. It was done in alphabetical order by family name, so she was last, after Uzumaki Naruto.

'_If Naruto's an orphan,' _Ino thought, slightly bored from the wait, _'why is his last name known?'_

Ino's train of thought continued making unusual stops in that manner while she waited. Some time later, long after Naruto left, Mizuki entered the room.

"It's your turn Ino. Naruto was supposed to inform you, but he's seemed to run off. Iruka went to find him." Mizuki explained.

Getting up from her desk, Ino followed Mizuki to the testing room.

"I take it he failed again?" Ino asked Mizuki as they walked aside each other.

"Yes," Mizuki answered with a nod, "he was unable to create a single clone, so Iruka failed him."

"How is that possible? The clone technique is easy. I've got it mastered." Ino said, wondering what was holding Naruto back.

"I noticed he used a lot of chakra, and he only used one hand-seal instead of the normal three. If you ask me, it seems like he's not performing it correctly."

"Well that's weird. Why hasn't anyone helped him get it right?" Ino asked.

Mizuki sighed, this was not a pleasant topic for him.

"Simply put, there's no point in helping someone who's too proud to ask for help, or rather, too stubborn to admit he needs it. Iruka gave up on him, but I think that has more to do with his own past. I've recommended Naruto be advanced to genin since the academy is mostly academically focused, as the name implies. Naruto does better at practical studies and physical performance, and would actually do better if he advanced in rank, since that's where those abilities are utilized more. It's too bad he might never meet the basic requirements to graduate."

Ino, taking his explanation as food for thought, noticed they had made it to the testing room.

"Alright Ino, you just need to create three clones to pass." Mizuki said.

Closing her eyes and focusing, Ino began moulding her chakra. With a shimmer, three perfect clones appeared before her, without the need for any hand-seals.

"Great job Ino. You'll have an easy time making rookie of the year after that performance." Mizuki said, congratulating Ino and passing her a forehead protector.

"Thank you sensei. It took a lot of hard work, but it was worth it." Ino said, bowing to her instructor.

"Alright, you have the weekend off now. Come back on Monday for team assignments."

Ino was about to turn and leave, when she stopped, a thought occurring to her.

"Mizuki-sensei, what will happen to Naruto now that he's failed again? Or specifically, what will happen if he never improves?" She asked.

"I suppose he'll be sent to the remedial program, and if he fails there, he'll be removed from the shinobi program entirely. After that, he'll either have to enrol in a civilian school, which I doubt he has the patience for. In that event, he'll do better in the Daimyo's samurai brigade." Mizuki answered.

The thought of failing out of the shinobi program and being drafted into a samurai brigade sent a shiver down Ino's spine.

"If it makes you feel better," Mizuki began, noticing Ino's concern, "I'll help Iruka find Naruto. Now that your examination is over, I'm done now anyway."

Feeling slightly relived about Naruto, although she was unsure why she felt that way, Ino left to find Shikamaru and Choji. Their parents had planned a celebratory dinner for their passing, which even Shikaku was sure would happen, and Ino had no plans to be late for it.

* * *

Monday came all too soon for Ino. As usual, she walked to class with Shikamaru and Choji. Her daily races with Sakura grew boring once her stamina and speed improved, allowing her to win them with ease.

The relaxed pace set by her childhood friends allowed Ino to conserve her energy, and arrive in class once the majority of their peers were also there. If Ino was too early, she would have to wait alone with Sasuke, who was usually the first one there. Needless to say, that would be uncomfortable.

Ino sat in the front row with Shikamaru and Choji, who she was expecting to be teamed with, not that she was entirely looking forward to it. Too bad no one told her the rookie of the year was traditionally placed with the dead-last to balance out the teams.

Soon enough, Sakura ran into class, trying to conceal how hard she was panting, and dashed for the seat next to Sasuke. Unfortunately, it was occupied by one Uzumaki Naruto, who had apparently passed a make-up exam to graduate. After a heated exchange, Naruto gave up his seat to his crush.

That was not the end of the trouble he caused. Naruto began a staring, or rather, a glaring contest with Sasuke. Shikamaru, noticing the position Naruto was in, leaned back and knocked him into Sasuke, forcing the two into an inadvertent kiss.

The reactions from the class were mixed, ranging between complete disgust and outright hilarity. Naruto, for stealing Sasuke's first kiss, even if it was by accident, and partly Shikamaru's fault, tried valiantly to avoid the wrath of Sasuke's remaining fangirls.

Luckily, he was saved by Iruka's arrival. After shouting at his students to take their seats, he gave a speech congratulating them for passing, and began listing the team assignments.

One by one, the teams were called. It was not until team seven was called that anyone else spoke up.

"Team seven," Iruka began, "Uzumaki Naruto, Yamanaka Ino, and Inuzuka Kiba."

For a moment, Ino wondered why she was not on a team with Shikamaru and Choji, but Naruto's outburst soon gave her an answer.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto whined, "why is a great ninja like me on a team with them?"

"Naruto!" Iruka replied in a chastising tone, "you are the worst student here. Therefore, you needed to be placed with Ino, the best student here to balance out the teams."

The class began laughing at Naruto, who just sulked, mostly from not being on a team with his crush. Only a few students, like Hinata or Sasuke were silent. The former for not being on a team with her crush, and the latter for being reminded he was not the best.

'_Huh, if I knew being rookie of the year meant being on a team with Naruto I would have let Sasuke have the title.' _Ino thought to herself.

"Team eight," Iruka continued, "Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Aburame Shino."

As soon as Iruka called out Sakura's name, she began cheering, forcing him to regain order again. At least this was his last day with some of them.

"Team ten, Nara Shikamaru, Hyuuga Hinata, and Akimichi Choji." Iruka finished.

Since the team assignments were finished, Iruka let the class out for lunch to get to know their team-mates better. They would meet their jonin instructors afterwards.

Sasuke left the room first, and Sakura tried to follow him out, to no avail. Shino, not looking forward to his team's future, silently went out the window. Naruto was about to go after Sakura, when Ino grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, bringing him to a halt.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked him.

"I'm going to ask Sakura to have lunch with me!" Naruto exclaimed, attempting to wriggle out of Ino's grip.

"You should stick with us instead. Look, we may not get along," Ino began, gesturing to the four of them, Akamaru included, "but we're a team now. We should act like one."

Ino let go of Naruto, who did not try to run after Sakura, as she was long gone. He settled for sulking a bit. Ino crossed her arms, and gave her team-mates a stern look.

"Sakura has her own team now, as dysfunctional as it seems. We're a team as well, and we're might be stuck with each other for a long time. I'd rather we didn't hate each others guts." Ino finished, taking charge of the situation.

Kiba had been unusually silent during this time. He had taken notice of Ino's improvement, and was silently pleased. His mother and sister were strong influences in his life, and seeing Ino strive to become a strong woman like them was something he approved of. Having a newfound respect for Ino, Kiba had been avoiding provoking her and earning her wrath. Deciding she was mainly focused on Naruto for the moment, making him safe, he spoke up.

"She's right Naruto. I say we give peace a chance. Why don't we spend our lunch break together?"

Akamaru yipped in agreement. Naruto's stomach began to growl, and he grinned sheepishly.

"Alright, that sounds fine," Naruto acquiesced, "can we get ramen? I know a great place!"

Kiba shrugged, not caring where they went. Ino, having taken on the burden of leadership, settled on the idea.

"Alright, lead the way Naruto." She commanded her new minion.

With that, team seven took it's first steps towards becoming friends, and someday, legends in their own right.

* * *

Author's notes: After many months, I have decided to officially put this story up for adoption. I still like the premise but screwing up Kakashi's portrayal killed my desire to continue it long ago, hence the total removal of the scene that included him.

There are other factors as well. I feel this story would be best told in a third-person limited narrative, like the Harry Potter novels for example. It would have needed a rewrite anyway as my writing style has changed since this was originally written.

I also recently suffered a hard-drive crash and while I had some data backed-up, my outline for this story and a Naru/Hina fic among others was lost. I still remember most of what I had planned so I could relay the information to anyone desiring to continue the story in my place.

I am also willing to help anyone who adopts it in any way, from serving as a beta to helping plan the entire story from start to finish. I really did like the idea and hope someone does a better job with it than I did.


	14. Kunai Goes Where?

Kunai Goes Where?

"These all look very sharp, very deadly, and very cool."

That was the comment uttered by a young Uzumaki Naruto as he browsed through a store that sold a variety of weapons to shinobi. Obviously an academy student like him would not be allowed to purchase any, but as long as he only looked, he was not causing any harm.

"Yeah, they are, aren't they?" A voice from behind Naruto asked.

Turning away from the display case full of various lengths of swords to face the speaker, Naruto noted it was a girl who appeared close to his age. Her most striking features were her brown hair, which was put up into two buns and a pink Chinese style sleeveless shirt. If Naruto had been a little older and thus a lot more hormonal, he might have thought she was cute.

"I prefer kunai and shuriken myself, I never miss with them." The girl stated, pointing to another case of weapons more suited for throwing. "Well, almost, but I'm getting close to perfect!"

For his part, Naruto just nodded along with the girl's declaration.

'_Huh, most of the girls in my class only seem interested in boys. It__'__s nice to meet a girl who likes ninja stuff!__'_

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto." He said, hoping this girl could be a new friend.

"I'm Tenten. No family name yet, but the people who own this store took me in so they're my new foster family. I'm hoping they adopt me, I already like them more than the last family who tried to take me in."

"Huh, that's nice. I hope they do, living in a weapons store would be cool." Naruto replied.

"It would be." Tenten answered in a hopeful tone. "My last foster family didn't want me to become a kunoichi. They wanted me to be a proper lady and marry a rich man since they couldn't have any more kids." She said with a bit of spite. "Still, they did get me some nicer clothes like this," she said, gesturing to her stylish yet practical outfit, "so they weren't all bad. They just weren't right for me."

"It must be nice just having a foster family. I've been an orphan all my life. No one's ever wanted me." Naruto said sadly.

"You're an orphan too?" Tenten asked, to which Naruto nodded in response. "Well, at least you know your family's name. That's something."

"I guess so."

The fast paced conversation had taken a sombre turn at that point, leaving them standing around in an awkward silence. Remembering they were in a weapon shop, Tenten decided to try cheering Naruto up.

"Want to see something cool?" She asked him.

"Okay!" Naruto yelled in answer, always eager to see something cool, especially if it was ninja related, which also helped him forget his current woes.

Tenten then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away to a back corner of the store. Again, if Naruto had been a bit older and a lot more hormonal, he would have thought something completely different in this situation.

'_Something cool! I bet it__'__s a really powerful sword! Swords are awesome!__'_

Once in the out of the way part of the store, Tenten showed Naruto what her fit her definition of cool. It was a suit of armour, but not just any armour like what the samurai wore. It was an older style of shinobi armour, consisting of a vest, which was different in appearance based on each village and a bodysuit. While it was not what he was expecting, nevertheless, it could be considered cool.

"This is an antique set of shinobi armour, just like the ones used before the Hidden Villages were founded. We only just got it in yesterday. It was found along with some other goods in an abandoned storage locker my foster father purchased. He hasn't had a good chance to examine it, but said something about this being 'the wow factor', whatever that means." Tenten explained.

The suit in question appeared to be in mint condition, having never been used, except by the mannequin currently wearing it for display purposes. It bore a close resemblance to the jumpsuit and body armour used by the Senju clan before they founded the Hidden Leaf Village with the Uchiha clan. Overall, while it was not a cool weapon like Naruto thought, it was a piece of history, something even he could appreciate.

"I can't wait until I'm a shinobi and get to wear something like this!" Naruto avowed as he examined the armour from all angles. "Maybe I'll get one and wear it with a bad-ass longcoat and carry a really big sword too!"

"You'd just look stupid doing that." Tenten said while crossing her arms and taking a more serious tone with Naruto. "Take it from me, stick to something more practical for a shinobi. Earth tones like brown and green would be good for camouflage around here. You could probably carry everything you need in an equipment vest and cargo pants, but you should have some storage scrolls handy too." She explained, using her own experience.

"I like wearing orange though. For some reason, I just can't seem to part with it." Naruto said with a hint of remorse.

At the moment, he was just wearing a plain orange shirt and black shorts instead of his signature suit with the white spiral of the Uzumaki clan and red spiral of Whirlpool Country.

"Well, you don't have to if you don't want to." Tenten said, figuring it would be a losing battle she had no interest in fighting anyway to get him to change his mind. "I've seen ninja wear all kinds of crazy clothes. If you're good enough, it shouldn't matter what you wear. If you were good enough at stealth, you could be wearing a clown suit covered in bells and no one would notice you!"

During her rant, which Naruto was actually not paying much attention to in favour of thinking of what cool style he would someday have, Tenten began to flail her arms about. The little outburst had exhausted her a bit, so Tenten started leaning on the nearest object to catch her breath, not realizing what it was. As it turned out, it was the antique armour. While she was young and certainly not in need of a diet, the suit was surprisingly light and the mannequin was as well. Since Tenten was now putting her weight on it, the suit could not handle it and began to fall over.

For a moment, there was silence. Tenten had let out a brief yelp once her balance shifted, but regained it quickly enough. Not quickly enough however, to stop the suit from falling over. It did so, quite unceremoniously as well. Naruto had not noticed either until it was over, as he was still daydreaming of his own ideal ninja attire. The noise from the fall of the antique suit snapped him from his wool-gathering, bringing his concern to his possible new friend.

"Do you think it's alright?" He asked Tenten.

"I hope so. If it's not, I'm in big trouble." She replied.

Walking over to the fallen suit, they began a more closer inspection of it.

"See, it's alright." Naruto said as he picked up the mannequin. "We just have to put in back in place and no one will ever find out it fell over."

At that moment, several tears formed in the jumpsuit and the seams of the vest came undone, exposing the fluffy cotton material. Naruto and Tenten just looked on in horror as the antique armour seemingly tore itself apart. Again there was silence between the two. It was eventually broken, not by Naruto or Tenten, but by the owner of the store and the man who could be her new father.

"What happened?" He asked, having only just arrived on the scene and seen his foster and soon to be adopted daughter with a boy and what appeared to be a destroyed suit of priceless armour in his arms.

The man was a retired shinobi, like all those who owned and operated stores that sold goods to active shinobi. They would not leave the sale of deadly weapons to civilians who did not understand or could fear those who used them, or worse, thought only of themselves and profits before anything else. Thus, the man's façade was one of neutrality he had honed during his younger years, showing not a hint of his true feelings.

Tenten, seeing the man she hoped would be her new father and remembering the bad times she had at the orphanage and with her other foster families did something she would always regret. As her potential father's expressionless gaze was on Naruto at the moment, she used him like many others had since he was born, as a scapegoat.

"He did it!" Tenten yelled out, not caring about Naruto at that moment, but only whether she would be able to stay with her new family or not.

Naruto could only look at her in betrayal, seeing someone he hoped could be a new friend turn against him to protect herself.

'_Would anybody else do this? Will I ever have a real friend?'_

The thought only occurred to Naruto for a moment, but the possibility of being betrayed again would haunt him for years.

"I'm really sorry." He said as he dropped the suit and ran out of the store.

Tenten was still quite fearful, thinking she might be in need of a new change of pants, and had not been able to look her foster father in the eyes. If she had, she might have been surprised to learn he was not staring where Naruto had left, desiring to seek out the boy to dole out his punishment for destroying a priceless suit of armour, but he was staring at the suit itself. Slowly, his stone visage turned to one of unexpected mirth.

"Well, would you look at that." He said as he began to more closely examine the remains of the suit.

Before, Tenten had been too afraid to comment, but her foster father's statement snapped her out of most of her fear.

"What is it?" She asked.

"This suit isn't an antique at all. It's a cheap reproduction. Of course, I would have found out myself as soon as I had a proper look at it."

Tenten let out a sigh of relief at hearing that.

'_So I didn't destroy a priceless suit of armour, just a cheap copy. But, that would mean, oh no…'_

The fear Tenten had been feeling was now replaced by the guilt she felt for blaming Naruto for destroying the suit. While she may have been a kunoichi in training, she was still a little girl and broke down crying in shame.

"Hey there, what's wrong? It's only a cheap copy, there's nothing to be upset about." Tenten's foster father said, trying to console her.

While crying over a broken suit of armour would be odd, crying over a broken weapon could be considered normal for the young Tenten.

"It's not that!" She said in between sobs as she broke down and told her foster father everything that just happened between her and Naruto.

* * *

Elsewhere, Naruto had run all the way back to his home where he thought it would be safe. Unlike Tenten he was not crying, having already shed all his tears long ago. He knew crying did nothing, it was up to him to change.

'_She's just like all the others. She only pretended to be nice to me so she could use me later.'_

In his short life, only three people had both earned Naruto's trust so far and had not lost it. They were the Third Hokage along with a man named Teuchi who owned and operated the Ichiraku ramen stand with his daughter Ayame. There had been others who Naruto had befriended and thought he could trust, but like Tenten, they had all ended up just hurting him somehow.

'_I used to just get back at them by pulling a prank, but I don't think that will work on her. She's not like other girls, she actually cares about being a ninja.'_

While it may be a bad sign that Naruto dealt with rejection in such a matter, he had no other way of dealing with his issues. Playing pranks was his way of keeping his spirits up in a world that kept bringing them down.

'_Hmm, she said she has really good aim and is good with throwing weapons. Maybe I can beat her at her own game!' _Naruto thought triumphantly before his good mood fell again. _'No, that wouldn't work. I don't need to be better than her, I need to beat her for real, like in a spar. That would be tough if we were both just throwing weapons at each other the whole time.'_

For once, Naruto was thinking hard about something. The answer he develop for his problem would be one that would reshape his skill-set as a ninja in the years to come.

'_I've got it! If she's so good at fighting at a distance, she might not be so good at fighting up close! All I have to do to beat her is become great at, umm, what's it called? Melee combat, that's it! I'll be a melee combat master! I'll get some cool swords, a staff like the old man said he used to use and workout so I'll be really strong and fast too! Then I'll beat her for sure!'_

In an unexpected manner, Naruto had developed something not many his age had and something he needed, a focus. With his goal for his skill-set as a ninja forming in his mind he would be able to centre his attention on achieving it, as he would do because giving up is something Uzumaki Naruto would never do.

* * *

Over the next few days, Tenten tried looking for Naruto to apologize for what she did. She wanted him to know he was not in trouble and she had been properly punished for her actions. Tenten's foster father even gave her a set of practice kunai to give to Naruto an extra apology and to show there were no hard feelings. He had no objections to Naruto being a customer of his and would welcome a visit from him, as would Tenten.

Unfortunately, she was not able to find him. Either he was avoiding her somehow or she had just been unlucky. Eventually, she just gave the gift and an apology card to Mizuki, one of Naruto's instructors who said he would pass it on to Naruto.

Eventually, Tenten would forget the whole ordeal and move on with her life. Some time later, she passed the genin exam and joined her new team. Even if she had remembered Naruto, she was now too busy with her new duties and did not have the time for him.

Naruto though, he never forgot the incident that changed his life and would someday, although neither knew it at the time, change Tenten's as well, but surprisingly, for the better.

* * *

Author's notes: Here yet another plunnie. This one was supposed to be a long one-shot (or short, four chapter story) but I don't have the motivation to continue it. In fact, this is from an older WIP of the story. The most up-to-date version was lost in a computer crash, which contributed to my loss of interest in finishing it.

The title sounds like a better fit for a Naruto/Tenten sexual education story but it's all I could come up with. Plus I thought it sounded funny.

You may have noticed that some people have made offers to adopt some of these stories and have seen confirmation of such in older chapters. To date, no one has posted anything so they can be considered free to take up.


	15. Illusions of Grandeur

Illusions of Grandeur

Chapter 1: Take a Chance On Me

Outside of the Hidden Leaf Village's shinobi academy, an eight-year old boy was sitting on a swing, all by himself. Clad only in a black t-shirt with an orange spiral emblazoned on the front and black shorts, he went unnoticed by the people around him. All, except for one.

The academy was out for the day, and it's students were going their own ways. While the parents picked up their children the young boy watched them from his swing. He wondered what it would be like to have someone waiting for him, to take him home, and what it would be like to not be alone.

While the boy sat and watched the families leave and wish he could have been among them, a girl his age watched him from a distance. In many ways, she was what the young boy was not. He was an orphan, and she came from a large and powerful clan. His clothes were unclean and second-hand, hers were immaculate and brand new. He was outgoing and loud, while she was shy and quiet. In some ways though, they had more in common than most would think.

As the girl continued to watch the boy while awaiting her escort to take her home, she internally debated with herself about approaching the boy, as she had ever since seeing him for the first time. While in many lifetimes, she would have remained his silent observer, in this one, she did something that changed the world as we know it.

The girl started to approach the boy. Her mind and heart were racing while her body continued it's pace, almost as if it was acting on it's own accord. Before she knew it, she was standing right behind him. Her lips began to tremble, and a sound emerged from them.

"Hi," the girl managed to say without her usual stutter.

The girl's mind had yet to catch up with her body, and the word she spoke sounder to her as if someone else was speaking them. The boy slowly turned around in response to her, and to the girl, the world around her seemed to slow down. When the boy was looking right at her, instead of blushing and looking away from his whiskered face like she normally would, she found herself speaking again.

"I'm Hinata," she said. "You looked lonely. Would you like a push?"

Hinata was amazed by her unusual boldness, and did not question the lack of control over her own body. The freedom from control of her actions, as well as her training in reading people let her see the surprise in the boy's eyes turn to acceptance, and joy.

"I'm Naruto," the boy said with a huge grin. "I'm not really lonely, but I wouldn't mind a push."

Naruto turned back around, and let Hinata push him on the swing. She noticed a look of pain when he said he was not lonely, and suspected he was lying, but let it slide. Right now, she was enjoying acting like the child she was while being with the boy she liked.

Just when Naruto had reached the peak height on one pass, he dragged his feet on the ground as he came back down, causing him to come to a halt.

"I'm sorry," he said while scratching the back of his neck, apparently a nervous habit of his. "Would you like a turn?"

Still caught in the moment, Hinata did not care that her body continued to move on it's own, sat down in the swing, and let Naruto push her. All that mattered to her was that she was interacting with him as she wanted to do ever since seeing him for the first time.

They continued to play together like that. Naruto's clothes became even dirtier, and Hinata's pretty kimono became soiled as well, not that she seemed to care. Before long, a dark haired, female chunin with striking red eyes came and approached them.

"Hinata, it's time to go," her escort said, calling out to her.

In truth, Hinata was supposed to go home an hour ago, but when the chunin found her playing with Naruto, she did not have the heart to take her away. She settled for observing them play together, and noted it was the happiest she had ever seen her charge.

"Alright miss Kurenai," Hinata said, responding to her before turning her attention back to Naruto and not noticing the regained control of her own actions.

"Do you have to go already?" Naruto asked Hinata, sad to see her go.

"I do," Hinata said, just as sad to see their time together come to an end.

"That's okay, we can play again after class tomorrow," Naruto said with an optimistic smile.

Hinata's eyes appeared to widen for a moment, and she returned Naruto's smile.

"Right, tomorrow," Hinata responded.

The last hour had felt like a dream to Hinata, and realizing it had actually happened and that it was not the last time it would happen was a dream come true. Before, Hinata feared what the next day would bring. Now, she looked forward to it.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, bye Hinata!" Naruto said, waving her off.

"Bye Naruto," Hinata replied as she and Kurenai walked away.

Naruto watched them as they left. Similarly to Hinata, he did not look forward to the end of each day of class, as it was when parents would usually come to pick up their children. Now, knowing there would be someone waiting for him who would even play with him filled him with joy.

A depressed Naruto who wanted attention would plan and pull off a large scale prank to entertain himself and gain some attention, even if it was bad. A happy Naruto with a friend had no need to. Instead, with his playmate gone, Naruto decided to put his efforts into pursing his other goal of becoming Hokage.

"Of course, there's only one person who knows what it takes to do that," Naruto said aloud as he gazed up at the Hokage monument. "It's time to pay the old man a visit!"

As he sped away to find the current Hokage, a trio emerged from the bushes behind Hinata's original position. They were a blonde who had a grin of triumph, a pleasantly plump boy who was tearing open a bag of potato chips, and another boy who appeared very laid back.

"Why did we have to do this again Ino?" the laid back boy asked the girl.

"For a variety of reasons," the girl, apparently named Ino responded. "First, I didn't go the trouble of sneaking around to learn my clan's signature technique and not use it. That lead me to Hinata, who became my first test subject. It's obvious how she feels about Naruto, but she'd never say anything and he's too oblivious to notice her. I just pushed things along a bit. Besides, now he'll stop bothering Sakura. So you see, I was just trying to help everyone out."

Ino's companions gave her a look that conveyed they were not convinced her motives were pure, but had no desire to argue the point. Ino was too in high spirits over the successful application of her clan's signature technique and her matchmaking to notice.

"Alright, so why was I and Shikamaru needed than?" the other boy said while munching his chips.

"Well Choji, the technique leaves me defenceless, and someone could take advantage of a pretty girl like me in that state," Ino explained.

Unexpectedly, Ino then blushed and giggled, presumably thinking of what she would do to her crush should she find him in such a state. Shikamaru and Choji gave each other a glance and a nod, then slowly began moving away from her and going their separate ways.

* * *

Some time later, Kurenai had dropped Hinata off at the Hyuuga's estate. The young girl was expecting to be reprimanded for coming home late, or the state of her clothes, and was fearful her escort would be blamed for her condition. The older woman thought otherwise, and was not surprised to find that no one was awaiting their arrival. Kurenai and Hinata said their goodbyes and parted ways.

Hinata made her way to her room, where she changed out of her soiled clothes and into something more comfortable. Not once had someone stopped her and asked why she was late, or inquired into the state of her clothing. It was if they did not care about her at all, and did not even acknowledge her presence among them. The only reaction she received was from her cousin Neji, who merely sneered disdainfully at her, as if he felt that Hinata was not worthy of being a member of the main house.

Sometimes she wondered if he was right.

* * *

Elsewhere, Naruto was just coming home as well. He had managed to catch the Third Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen or "the old man" as Naruto called him working another late night. Despite seeing the work involved with being Hokage first hand, Naruto had yet to be dismayed from his goal of becoming the Hokage himself someday.

Thus it came as no surprise to Sarutobi when Naruto asked him for advice on how he could succeed in his goal. Since Naruto had a reputation as a prankster, Sarutobi decided to pull a prank of his own. With a straight face, he explained to the blond that the secret was to eat all his vegetables and do all his homework.

Naruto was absolutely horrified by that, but reluctantly agreed to do so, as long as it meant he could be Hokage someday. Holding back his surprise, which was something an experienced shinobi like Sarutobi could do with ease, he resolved to deliver in a deadpan his less than serious instructions more often.

* * *

Shortly after dropping off Hinata, Kurenai had made it back to her apartment. Collecting her mail and settling down at her kitchen table, she began to ponder the events of earlier in the day as she sorted through her correspondence.

As usual, she had made her way to the academy to pick up her ward and escort her home as Hinata's family had all but disowned her and could no longer be bothered to deal with her. Part of the reason Kurenai had been assigned as the girl's guardian in all but name was because she had been under assault and the branch house member who was supposed to be guarding her had done nothing to defend her. It was actually a young boy who taunted the bullies into attacking him, shifting their attention off Hinata in the process.

It came as no surprise to Kurenai that from that day on, Hinata had developed a case of hero worship for her saviour. It was clear to the red-eyed chunin that her ward desperately wanted to become closer to that boy, but was too shy to approach him. So it was a complete surprise to see Hinata laughing while on a swing as the boy in question pushed her higher and higher.

Kurenai had never even seen Hinata so much as crack a smile, much less laugh openly. If it was not for her distinctive eyes, she would be hard to identify as a Hyuuga at the moment. While initially shocked at such out-of-character behaviour, Kurenai was skilled enough to see that it really was Hinata and that she was genuinely enjoying herself.

While it was entirely possible that Hinata had merely worked up the courage to approach her crush on her own, it was more likely that an outside force had played a hand in her new-found boldness. Kurenai hoped that force was wholly benevolent in its actions or else it would have to answer to her.

Since Hinata was not just fine, but happier than Kurenai had ever seen her, she decided to let her ward play with her new friend for a bit longer before making an appearance. It was unlikely that Hinata's family would care if she came home late, or at all.

Kurenai did not linger long on thoughts of Hinata's so called "family". There was little she could do except support the girl as best as she could and hope for the best. Ideally, she would be able to help Hinata the most if she could become her jonin instructor. Unfortunately, she had already been called on to take on an apprentice soon; a girl Hinata's age by the name of Kurama Yakumo, who possessed a bloodline-limit that allowed her to make illusions into reality. As the village's foremost expert in illusions with the loss of the Uchiha clan, not that they would have helped Yakumo, Kurenai was ideally suited for instructing her in controlling her gift.

As much as Kurenai would have liked to be able to take on both girls as her students, there were several factors prohibiting such an occurrence. First, Hinata would have to graduate two years early, as Yakumo's gift required her to start her training soon. It was estimated she would be ready to move onto further instruction in two years time.

Second, teams were set-up to have three members, usually one female along two males since there were fewer kunoichi in each class. Even if Hinata graduated early, unless Kurenai pulled some strings the chances of both girls being on the same team were slim. She could argue that as both girls were the same age, they would get along better than someone two years older then them who might resent them for advancing early. Unless... the third member of their team was also someone who graduated early.

Hinata was a shy girl and until earlier, Kurenai had never seen her interact with another child her age. That it was a boy she had a crush on was not a concern; they were too young for it to matter and most boys did not even show any interest in girls until they were much older. For now, they were just a couple of cute kids.

The possibility of romance aside, Hinata and the boy, who Kurenai knew to be Uzumaki Naruto, had definitely formed a friendship. The red-eyed chunin was aware of the secrets regarding the boy, or at least the most well known secret, but at the moment it was not an issue for her. Hinata had been saved from bullies by him and they had become friends, and were quite possibly the other's only friend. She liked him, so that was all that Kurenai needed to know to be fine with him as well.

It would be an ideal situation if Hinata and Naruto were to be placed on the same team and Kurenai felt it would be even better if she could be their instructor. Normally she would have to complete her apprenticeship with Yakumo, which could take some time, then earn a promotion to jonin in time to take on a genin team by the time Hinata graduated in four years. There was another option though. Kurenai had touched upon the idea earlier in her musings and after having compared it to the alternative, it had the most potential. It was a high-risk high-reward plan, but that seemed to make it all the more attractive.

Simply put, all that needed to happen was for Kurenai to earn a promotion to jonin in two years time so that when Yakumo was ready for her, she could not only take her as an apprentice, but if Hinata and Naruto graduated early as well, she could take all three as her students.

Kurenai still had the earlier problems of getting not only Hinata, but Naruto to graduate early as well as arranging them to be on the same team as Yakumo. Kurenai believed the latter problem to be the simpler of the two. They would all be the same age so developing teamwork should not be too much of a problem.

As for getting them on the same team, Kurenai believed she could simply propose that they could form a strong illusion based unit that onto which she could pass her best skills. If that did not work, she could use her crafty side to arrange them to be on the same team without anyone knowing otherwise. The worst case scenario would be that Kurenai would need to get Anko's assistance in proving to the required parties that taking on Hinata, Naruto and Yakumo as her students was in everyone's best interests.

For now, the main problem was getting them all ready for advancement in two years time. Hinata and Naruto would have to show considerable improvement as well as a great deal of co-operation to prove they were ready to advance to genin ahead of their classmates in addition to making sure they would best work together on a team. That would have to be left to Anko to accomplish, as Kurenai would be focused on developing her own skills.

Among the letters she had received was an offer to join a team of chunin, each possessing a specialty, who would teach one another their skills as they each worked relentlessly for a promotion. Kurenai would add her skills in illusions to a group that would include a ninja technique specialist, a melee expert and a combat medic. Joining the team would mean devoting all her time and effort for the foreseeable future to it, hence the need for Anko's assistance.

Kurenai concluded that it was the best course of action. She decided to accept Anko's offer of a night of drinks on the town, since she wanted to have one last night of freedom and needed to convince Anko to help her anyway. In the end, it would all be worth it.

* * *

Author's Note: I've had this idea for quite some time, but never felt like working on it too hard until my current stories were finished. Unfortunately, my interest in Naruto is on the wane as of late. I am not sure if I will even finish my current stories, so starting a new one in this category is out of the question. For some time now I had been considering putting this up for adoption, as I would really like to have seen it flourish. I'd rather put it up for adoption, even though I don't believe I'd like the direction another author would take with it, than leave it as it was. I can only hope it would be half as good as I imagined and that an experienced author would take good care of it. I'd help in any way I can, of course. About half of the story was planned, so finishing it should not be hard. If there are any further questions, please let me know.


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